If anything, a little too hot by Sunday...
Ben, remember your "Factor 30".
Thursday 14 June 2012
Wednesday 13 June 2012
Further input from R&A....
Roger and Alan have been at it again just before the start of SCC 2012 'Shorter, Slower, Weaker, Worse' this coming Friday 15th June.
R&A, Rules and Amateur Status – Governing and Educating Principal Changes
Introduced into the 2012 Code Rules of Golf
Definitions
'Camels (camel, uurrrgghhhhh, or any variation thereof)'
Camels are whereby a group of two of more golfers try to complete a round of golf by going in as many bunkers as possible then hoping that they wont be the last person to enter a bunker during the round. The fine for any entry into a bunker is 20p, steadily increasing in this multiple as the fellow golfers enter bunkers during their round of shoddy tee shots/chips/knobs of the fairway. If the player is scabby enough to get up and down from the bunker they entered then the running total is passed back to the last person to enter a bunker. To clarify that if only one golfer is hilariously enough the only person to enter a bunkers during the whole round then the fine sticks with that player. It is encouraged for all golfers to aim for bunkers on the 18th hole and not to 'girl-out' by aiming straight for the green, but this is up to the individual female in question (Nick).
Rules
Rule 18-2b.
Ball Moving After Address
A new Exception is added that exonerates the player from penalty if his ball moves after it has been addressed when it is known or virtually certain that he did not cause the ball to move. For example, if it a player has the nose capacity to inflict solid objects to bend during or after a sneeze, if it is this bogey infested gust of wind that moves the ball after it has been addressed, there is no penalty and the ball is played from its new position. Trousers, shirts or shorts of the others player may be changed without penalty due to excess nose gold being deposited on their various parts.
Rule 27-Massive C.
Water Proofs, Hand Warmers, Wet Suits.
No player may now wear or use any device designed to prevent the absorption of rain or any other precipitation due the fact that we are not 'little girls' who cry at the first sight of rain. Hail is to be embraced, snow is to be shunned at and wind is to be pissed into in a high arc.'
Monday 11 June 2012
THE SCC RULES
I am pleased to be able to provide a revised set of SCC rules. Without wishing to place greater importance one clause over any another, I would like to draw competitors attention to clause 12 as it is an etirely new addition.
1. No practice rounds are permitted at the host club within 2 months of the tournament.
2. The format is that of a three team stableford competition.
3. The handicap limit is 28.
4. Teams are to be drawn during the draw on the evening before the competition begins.
5. The 3-ball playing groups will be confirmed during the draw on the evening before the competition begins. Groups are organised such that everyone plays with everyone else, except for their team members.
6. Teams will be drawn from 3 pots, with one player from each pot in each team. In the first year, the ‘rankings’ will be determined by handicap, with the lowest 3 handicappers in pot A (therefore not in the same team), the next 3 handicappers in pot B and so on. The pots in the following years will be determined by total points scored over the 3 rounds of the previous years event, with the highest 3 point scorers in pot A, the next highest 3 in pot B and so on…
a) in the event that player totals are tied, for the purposes of deciding who enters which pot, players will be seperated by count-back of scores over rounds, starting wilth round 3, then round 2 and finally round 1. If scores are still drawn, the player with the larger nose shall be entered into the higher pot.
7. Each player is required to mark the card of one of their playing partners (and their own score). The SCC Scorer spreadsheet requires gross scores only. Full handicap stableford scoring will be calculated when scores are added to the spreadsheet after each round.
8. In rounds 1 & 2, the best 2 stableford scores on each hole from your team will be counted. In the final round all 3 scores on each hole will be counted. This is accounted for in the SCC Scorer spreadsheet.
9. When two rounds are played in one day, a lunch time drink of 2 pints should be taken by all players (this can be altered at the opening ceremony each year on agreement of at least 5 of the 9 competitors).
10. Failure to clear the ladies tee on any competitive round during the SCC is punishable by having to play the resulting second shot with trousers (or shorts) around the ankles.
a. As in most instances, Nick will have “pulled in a favour” to get us on the course, should this occur on a tee in clear view of the clubhouse, the player should play the second shot of the next hole with trousers (or shorts) around the ankles.
b. Should the offending player be “going commando”, the punishment should be stored up for the bar when the player will have had the opportunity to find some underwear. Trousers (or shorts) must then be worn around the ankles whilst the first pint is drunk.
11. At the request of the golf club (and given that they have allowed us a 50% discount) we are requested to ensure that we keep up with speed of play (we will be amongst a club competition on the Saturday). This requires that players unable to score points on a given hole either ‘pick up’ or play quickly and move on to the next hole. In 3 balls we should be taking no longer than 3 ½ hours per round.
12. In the event that a participant is unable to sport a suitably bad shirt on Saturday night, they will be required to order a very gay drink. Said drink must then be necked at the bar, with pinky well and truly out.
For the avoidance of any doubt, a shirt must be considered to be bad by a majority of the group. Also, as an example a Malibu and Coke is a very gay drink.
I'm sure that having read the rules, you will be excited at the mention of the SCC Scorer Spreadsheet. Be assured that this is as cool as you anticipate!
1. No practice rounds are permitted at the host club within 2 months of the tournament.
2. The format is that of a three team stableford competition.
3. The handicap limit is 28.
4. Teams are to be drawn during the draw on the evening before the competition begins.
5. The 3-ball playing groups will be confirmed during the draw on the evening before the competition begins. Groups are organised such that everyone plays with everyone else, except for their team members.
6. Teams will be drawn from 3 pots, with one player from each pot in each team. In the first year, the ‘rankings’ will be determined by handicap, with the lowest 3 handicappers in pot A (therefore not in the same team), the next 3 handicappers in pot B and so on. The pots in the following years will be determined by total points scored over the 3 rounds of the previous years event, with the highest 3 point scorers in pot A, the next highest 3 in pot B and so on…
a) in the event that player totals are tied, for the purposes of deciding who enters which pot, players will be seperated by count-back of scores over rounds, starting wilth round 3, then round 2 and finally round 1. If scores are still drawn, the player with the larger nose shall be entered into the higher pot.
7. Each player is required to mark the card of one of their playing partners (and their own score). The SCC Scorer spreadsheet requires gross scores only. Full handicap stableford scoring will be calculated when scores are added to the spreadsheet after each round.
8. In rounds 1 & 2, the best 2 stableford scores on each hole from your team will be counted. In the final round all 3 scores on each hole will be counted. This is accounted for in the SCC Scorer spreadsheet.
9. When two rounds are played in one day, a lunch time drink of 2 pints should be taken by all players (this can be altered at the opening ceremony each year on agreement of at least 5 of the 9 competitors).
10. Failure to clear the ladies tee on any competitive round during the SCC is punishable by having to play the resulting second shot with trousers (or shorts) around the ankles.
a. As in most instances, Nick will have “pulled in a favour” to get us on the course, should this occur on a tee in clear view of the clubhouse, the player should play the second shot of the next hole with trousers (or shorts) around the ankles.
b. Should the offending player be “going commando”, the punishment should be stored up for the bar when the player will have had the opportunity to find some underwear. Trousers (or shorts) must then be worn around the ankles whilst the first pint is drunk.
11. At the request of the golf club (and given that they have allowed us a 50% discount) we are requested to ensure that we keep up with speed of play (we will be amongst a club competition on the Saturday). This requires that players unable to score points on a given hole either ‘pick up’ or play quickly and move on to the next hole. In 3 balls we should be taking no longer than 3 ½ hours per round.
12. In the event that a participant is unable to sport a suitably bad shirt on Saturday night, they will be required to order a very gay drink. Said drink must then be necked at the bar, with pinky well and truly out.
For the avoidance of any doubt, a shirt must be considered to be bad by a majority of the group. Also, as an example a Malibu and Coke is a very gay drink.
I'm sure that having read the rules, you will be excited at the mention of the SCC Scorer Spreadsheet. Be assured that this is as cool as you anticipate!
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