Wednesday 8 October 2008

Team Nottingham - Perennial under-achievers or just nice guys?

Team Nottingham stalwart and page 5 fella, Dom Williams has disclosed a press release on his personal website www.iwillcrapinpetesjeansthenexttimeihavetheminmysights.com suggesting tongue in cheek that Team Nottingham decided in 2007 that they would give the other teams a chance to get their names on the winners trophy before they take them all to the cleaners.

Williams was asked whether it was a coincidence that in the last two years that Team Nottingham have had a chance to win the tournament on the 54th hole but then bottled it. He scoffed "we had it in our minds to put up a challenge but wanted to massage Team Manchester and more recently Team Birmingham's ego's as neither of the two teams have much going for them. We care too much about our friends to let a little competition getting in the way - we are not bottlers, we really are just very nice people."

Team Nottingham tend to dampen down their chances of winning before the start of every SCC, however the other competitors are all fully aware of the dangers that they pose - the over-exaggerated slice, the follow through smash of the driver on the tee before the swing has even finished and the shouting of "Simon... every time!"

Williams Junior was delighted to hear of Bumwell's recent handicap declaration and was quoted saying "Pete has his off days just like the best of us, but did he really think he would get away with cheating for the 4th year on the trot? I counted every one of his 114 shots at Aberdovey and in truth would have been happy to give him the full handicap entitlement, however the dirty fake Mancunian has clearly put some practice in over the past few months which is great news as I was embarrassed for him last year."

Simon Porter also of Team Nottingham has also chipped into the handicap debate suggesting that it is directly related to the amount of sex that each individual is receiving, the lower the handicap, the less likely you are to cop off. Porter's theory is supported by Bumwell's recent Marriage and subsequent reduction in handicap - no need to mention that Nick plays of 0.9! Simon commented that he is currently playing off 28 and swinging the club as well as ever, he also stated that he is very happy with the arrival of his young filipino house boy, whom he has been spending a lot of time with recently!

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