SCC: Ten Years Older, None the Wiser
Well, well, well… look who’s still alive. It’s been more than a decade since the last SCC blog post, and in that time a few things have happened: the world has changed, golf has changed, and—most noticeably—we’ve all got older, rounder, balder, and slower. Some of us more than others.
Back in 2012, this blog was buzzing with rules about trousers round ankles, fines for bunker-hopping camels, and whether anyone could find a shirt bad enough for Saturday night. There were lookylikeys, weather forecasts of doom, and Simon Porter proudly accepting his status as the “white Tiger Woods” (Elle’s words, not ours). And then… silence.
So let’s recap what’s been missed, what’s changed, and what definitely hasn’t.
SCC 2012 Greatest Hits (According to Us, Anyway)
- The Rules of Engagement
Where else would you find punishments that required a man to either drink a “very gay cocktail” or drop his trousers at the bar? Classy as ever. - The Lookylikey Parade
- Ben Williams – Bastian Schweinsteiger (still German efficiency, still late on the tee).
- Mattkinson – Fabio Capello / Xabi Alonso hybrid (basically: stern eyebrows and Mediterranean chic).
- Nick Brooker – Sergio Garcia (though with fewer tantrums, marginally).
- Neil Gayton – Jim Furyk (swing uglier than a wet spaniel).
- Chris Seddon – Bubba Watson meets Jay from Inbetweeners.
- Simon Porter – White Tiger Woods (still searching for his Nike sponsorship deal).
- Legendary Golfing Moments
- Matthew Miller, at 67 years young, carding a hole-in-one at Mead Open Farm Crazy Golf. Mrs Miller still claims it doesn’t count.
- “The Road Hole” at St Andrews. Shots into the tarmac, bunker visits like it was Disneyland, and one or two swings that didn’t make contact with the ball (or reality).
Fast-Forward Ten Years…
- Matthew Miller – Now approaching 80. Still insists he can out-drive you, but only if you measure in yards walked rather than balls struck.
- Ben Williams – Still German. Still late.
- Nick Brooker – Possibly now closer to Nick Faldo in age than Sergio Garcia in looks.
- Neil Gayton – That Furyk swing has aged like blue cheese.
- Chris Seddon – Still Bubba on the legs, Jay on the face, and now with the patience of neither.
- Mattkinson – “Iron King of Matkinsons Town.” Hairline under review.
- Simon Porter – Still white. Still not Tiger Woods.
The rest of us? Older, slower, probably shorter off the tee. But at least our bad shirts have held up. Polyester lasts forever.
What SCC Missed in the Golf World
While we were all busy pretending to stretch our hamstrings:
- Tiger Woods won the Masters (2019). We missed the chance to claim credit.
- Phil Mickelson won the PGA (2021) at 50. Proof that Old Man Miller still has time.
- Brooks Koepka hoarded majors like SCC fines in a bunker pot.
- Rory kept us entertained by almost winning everything.
- Jon Rahm, Collin Morikawa, Jordan Spieth… new names, new stars. Not a mention from SCC.
- LIV Golf happened. Players left, cheques got bigger, egos got louder. SCC failed to issue a strongly worded statement (rare restraint).
- COVID cancelled golf weekends. SCC would’ve fined people for coughing.
SCC Rules 2025 (Proposals for the Next Decade)
- Shorts must be worn above the knee or trousers immediately dropped to the ankle.
- Bad shirt on Saturday is mandatory. Anything subtle = round of sambucas.
- Practice rounds within two months? Still banned. Unless you’re Matthew Miller, in which case a nap counts.
- Lookylikeys must be updated
- Camels fine increased from 20p to £1 (inflation, lads).
The Next Chapter?
So, here we are. Ten years on, still daft, still swinging, still certain that the best shot is always the one after the beer.
Let’s call this the revival. SCC is back. Older, yes. Wiser? Absolutely not.
Now… who’s up for St Davids again?
