Benny One-Putt Hails ‘Perfect Win’

Benny ‘one-putt’ Williams has claimed an encouraging victory in the first official SCC2009 warm-up event of the year. The highly respected Stephen George & Partners Crazy Golf Open Championship was hosted by the Star City Adventure Island Mini Golf Course which is towered over by the awe inspiring spaghetti junction, on the outskirts of picturesque Birmingham.

On his was to a score of 44 (+6), Williams carded an impressive hole in one on the revered 9th hole, a dog leg right, then left, then right again which includes several outrageous mounds, some nasty looking boulders and a sneaky drainpipe shortcut.

Upon receiving the trophy in front of a near capacity crowd, Benny had this to say: “Winning this event is a proud moment for me. Stephen George & Partners are a great architects practice whom I know have at least one outstanding urban designer on their books. Their support of the Respect campaign has been outstanding and is a very worthy cause.”

When questioned about his game preparations for the SCC, he told us that “the hours of practice I’ve been spending with my new putter and changes to my stroke have given an immediate return. I’m just so happy!”

Other teams have previously pointed to one-putts game on the greens as Team Birmingham’s major flaw. This win is likely to shoot fear to the heart of the other competitors as the build up to this years event continues.

Liverpool Commitment

At today’s SCC press briefing, Matt Atkinson confirmed Team Liverpool’s intention to continue their participation in the competition for the foreseeable future.
In light of recent rumours regarding the Scouse pairing, Atkinson was keen to stress that neither him nor his partner, Chris Seddon have ever been tempted to join Team Bolton, the renegade team set up by Russian Billionaire Growman Bigcockovich.

Atkinson refused to be drawn on the speculation surrounding himself and Bigcockovich and was visibly annoyed when one reporter repeatedly quizzed him about the photos published in last weekends News of the World.

In an effort to defect attention from the latest sleazy scandal to embroil this years SCC competition, Atkinson announced that Team Liverpool are changing from their orange shirts to white. And whilst the star suggested that this was purely a commercial decision, speculation continues that the move to white shirts is the first toward the transformation into Team Bolton.

South Korea Golf?

As many of you will know by now, the SCC is not just a British phenomenon, it is a global orgy fest, pulling in visitors from far flung countries such as Argentina, India and even Ireland. So my next phase as President is to encourage visitors from SOUTH KOREA to view our blog.

I will be starting a South Korea Golf poll and those of you who are correct in you answer will receive a pint from myself on the SCC weekend, so please post your answers in the blog, otherwise they won't count.

Question: When will a person view the blog from South Korea?

1. 0 - 2 Weeks
2. 2 - 4 Weeks
3. 4 - 6 weeks
4 Not Before the SCC '09 Smackdown


In order to encourage South Korean searches i will now just add random words. South Korea Golf, South Korea, South Korean Golf.South Korea Golf, South Korea, South Korean Golf.South Korea Golf, South Korea, South Korean Golf.South Korea Golf, South Korea, South Korean Golf.South Korea Golf, South Korea, South Korean Golf.

Wonder how long until we are number one hit on Google for South Korea Golf?

Adiue

SCC Caddie Selections

As Mr President for the next three years i have decided to add a "Caddie Selection"
(near the bottom of the blog) gallery to our blog. I hope that this is acceptable to all members and any any comments would be greatly recieved.

Team Manchester - An Apology

*News Feed 12.55pm 20/4/2009*

Interviewer- ".... And we come live now from outside The Bumwell Label Company for Mr President Peter Bumwell's response to Team Nottingham's scandalous reports...."

Peter Bumwell- "Ladies, Gentleman, Nick. I stand here before you today ashamed and disgraced. I have known for a while about the circulation of the damaging photograph and was worried about what rumor would be brought with it.

I can clearly see that Mr D (for D!ck) Williams, has quite blatantly got the wrong end of the stick (so to speak). If you look at the picture a bit closer you will notice that Neil, 34, is actually sitting a foot closer to the camera than myself and the perspective makes it look that he is licking my lucious lips. But this is not the case, the actual story (and this is the reason why I am so ashamed and disgraced) is that this picture clearly shows what I was looking away from, and what Neil was not happy (sticking his tounge out in a childlike manner) about.

As President of the SCC, I would like to confirm the news that Mr D (for D!ick) Williams has no penis.



Many a man thought that he was quite well endowed, and no more so than Team Liverpools local sexual-homo Mr C (Massive C) Seddon and regular sexual-pest Mrs M Nowland.

We can see that upon further inspection it is none other than a pink Tie, and no-one is more disappointed than Mr Seddon.

A statement from the pair is due to be released later on today from their one bed sex-dungeon.

I apologise for the hurt this may cause some people, my only hope is that this matter can be "put to bed"."

Interviewer - ".... Shocking I'm sure you'll agree. Now over to James at Mr N (Gay) Brooker's flouse on day 3,465 of sex watch to see if Nick has lost his redeveloped virginity?"

James- "No"

Interviewer- "Thanks James, back to the studio."

Team Manchester Officially 'Come out'

It will come as no suprise to regular visitors of this extremely popular blogsite that the Team Manchester pairing of Pete Bumwell and Neil Gayton have decided to end speculation about their 'special' relationship by revealing exclusively to blogspot.com that they are involved in a long term serious sexual relationship. It is not known whether or not the pair had planned to come out with this news or whether they were made aware of the attached image of them enjoying a nice quiet meal together at their favourite bistro pub - The Old Cock Inn in Soho which forced their hand. The pair were snapped whilst undertaking what can only be described as a damn good tongueing session, it is thought that this lead to some pretty horrific sex games that would shock the majority of our readers and would drag the repuatation of this highly revered site down to the doldroms.

Bumwell who so graciously allowed other SCC members join him at his 9 hole pitch and putt in Hale had this to say: " I have always kind of known that I like boys, even from a young age I was the first in the showers and the last out. I have been living a lie, my marriage to Neil's sister was a ploy to get close to him, I couldn't control myself, I feel like I have let everyone down by lying over the years." Team Nottingham superstar Simon Porter heard about this comment and said "he (Bumwell) really has let everyone down, I never had this sort of problem when playing with Nick Faldo."

This news will no doubt need to be discussed with the SCC Captain Ben Williams who will need to make the call as to whether the SCC will allow two such outwardly blatant bummers into this years tournament.

Watch this space for news updates which will no doubt be posted imminently.

SCC Superstars Remember The Little People!

Five years ago no one could have ever imagined that the SCC would have turned into the great championship that we see today.  Last years event saw record crowds (3 people looked through the window of clubhouse wondering why we were playing in the pissing rain!) and an unprecedented standard of golf played (Bumwell - 114 shots, 12 balls etc!).

But with the great success has come some bad press.  The untouchable superstars of the SCC such as Peter 'I've run out golf balls' Bumwell and Ben '3 or 4 putt' Williams have been living the high life, reaping the rewards that come with being an Amatuer Champion of InterCity Major Championship Golf and turning their backs on the 9 hole municipals where they learnt their trade with their 'less talented' mates.  Wait a minute, Bumwell still plays at a 9 hole municipal doesn't he?

Anyway, with this in mind some of the biggest names in SCC history have decided to allow a couple of their biggest fans the opportunity to walk the same emerald turf as them this weekend.  Watch 'boom boom' Brooker smash a drive, see 'lets hit a fade' Guyton caress one greenwards, have a chat with 'lets make a funny northern joke' Seddon.  All of these will be happening when some of the stars of the SCC generously donate their time in aid of charity  and the two highest bidders that will be playing some golf with them this Easter are Matt 'I can't remember his surname but he has just bought a house with Emily' Thingey and Martin 'Pete clearly didn't get his golfing talent from me' Bumwell.

The warm up will be played at some northern pitch and putt with the grand finale at Royal Harborne GC. 

Dark Clouds Gather Over Sherwood Forest

The SCC rumour mill has gone into overdrive of late with news that Team Nottingham have once again shown that they are very much Sherriff of Nottingham and not Robin Hood when it comes to fair play…

A source of this reporter understands that Dominic “Tuck” Williams is intent on copying the preparation of Team Birmingham superstar “Long” Ben Williams in the run in to this years competition. Not content with making his hair the same colour as Long Ben, it is rumoured that Tuck has now also been seen playing with the same putter!

Bens recent change to the Odyssey two-ball from the Ping putter which has widely been reported as being possibly the hardest putter to use in the world ever, members of Harborne GC have been treated to some spectacular putting of late.
It is thought that Tuck must have placed spies in the Harborne club who have reported back to him with news of the change which have then lead to this dark move.

These underhand tactics will surely not go unnoticed by the SCC committee and there have been unconfirmed reports that SCC2009 Captain Ben Williams is considering disciplinary action.