Pet Bumwell (long term admirer of S Club Juniors) has been sensationally ditched on the eve of SCC 2009. When quizzed by National Press, the SCC commission cited Bumwell's omission from the Thursday festivities at Celtic Manor as the main (but not the only reason) for their non-controversial decision.
In his place, after rigorous interviews, Bumwell's position has been filled by long term SCC wannabe Mike I'm rogueishly good looking' Nowland. It was felt the Nowland would add a certain 'jeu ne se quoi' to the tournament and is vital to the future marketing of the tournament to the Asian Market with his recent topless shoot out in Beijing. Nowland is seen as a vital marketing commodity for the SCC, in hard economic times, it is important that the SCC look to the future of the competition and they felt that Bumwell's participation would be detrimental to future growth.
Nowland (pictured) had this to say:
"I just want to play golf and music, I'll be aiming to play a few tunes out on the course. I would like to thank Pet Bumwell for being a big gay which has given me this opportunity to take part in such an amazing event. I only hope that I can live up to the high standards that have been set over recent years."
When it was pointed out to Nowland that Bumwell is actually only slightly less than average on the course and has a history of losing more balls than Pi Sorter, Nowland quaffed that surely no-one could lower the standard to that level.
Neil Gayton was particularly pleased with this recent revelation, Gayton was heard saying:
"Bumwell has become a liability and really was the only reason that Team Manchester didn't win last year. He has been holding me back for a while now and I am delighted to be teamed with Mike, even though he will no doubt make me look even worse than I normally do I am happy that that useless, drop out let down massive C Bumwell won't be anywhere near me this weekend."
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