Not wanting to be outdone by Chris 'my team are going down this year' Seddon and his recent announcement about sponsorship, Dom Williams (the playing member of Team Nottingham) released the following Press release:
"It is with great pleasure that Team Nottingham are able to reveal that they now have three seperate commercial contracts with big corporate giants as they attempt to avoid the wooden spoon for the third time in four years.
We have agreed a two year deal with Tampax who will not only provide a financial contribution to training fees but have also agreed to provide us with unlimited tampons over the next two years for us to give to Pete when he blobs a hole. Steve Cotton (CEO of Tampax) said " we all know how bad Bumwell is at golf and what an all round terrible bloke he is, and having followed SCC closely over the last four years we are aware of his extremely poor record against team Nottingham, therefore we will need to increase our productivity at all of our local plants to meet the obvious need for our product at Tenby."
Mothercare have also come on board as our official supplier of baby products. Pi Sorter explained that "Mothercare noticed an opportunity to exploit the market by plugging their latest range of dummies and toys at this years tournament, apparently Nick Brooker hasn't been playing much golf recently so we are expecting several pulled drives, shanks and duffed chips from him, when added to the odd snide comment from Team Nottingham's usually tight lipped, liberal, pin up, Dom Williams, we expect there to be numerous occasions whereby toys / dummies are thrown out of the pram so we contacted Mothercare who were more than happy to supply Mr Brooker with enough apparel to satisfy his temper tantrums."
Apple are the third big name to jump on board Team Nottingham's apparent commercial rollercoaster. Dom Williams was on hand to explain the benefits of this deal, "last years fixture against Liverpool whilst very enjoyable was also somewhat painful. The main problem was that we had to put up with Seddon's incessant bulls**t, therefore we wanted something to drown out his Northern dulcid tone, therefore we approached Apple via Pi Sorter's IBM connections and they agreed to supply a brace of Ipod Nano's and unlimited access to their itunes collection. We will no doubt feel the benefit even as early on as the first fairway."
The official press release did not reveal that Team Nottingham have also secured a "naming rights sponsor", un-named sources have revealed to Blogspot.com that a deal is all but agreed with Poundland. The details of the deal are a little sketchy, but it would appear the collaboration will result in "Nottingham Poundland" becoming the official name of Team Nottingham for 2010. It is thought that Nottingham's cheap image is the main reason that the affordable retail outlet have joined forces with them as their is a strong synergy between their two products.
No doubt the other teams will scrambling around to find themselves new and exciting sponsorship deals, be sure to revisit this site for all the gossip.
P.S. Matt Miller is a homo!
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