Top Memories of SCC History – part v

It has obviously been a while trying to find the final of the top five moments of SCC history, and last night an absolute pearler was remembered. The thoughts came back whilst Peter 'Definitely going to be carrying Neil' Bramwell was giving Neil 'Oh My God, another high fade' Guyton an absolute drubbing.

The memories wont be there for most members of the SCC so I will try and recapture the moment for you in as much detail as possible… (from my perspective)

The waves crash in, a seagull swoops low over head, Ben lets out a massive fart echoing around Nefyn GC car park. That was the setting for what was to be the beginning of the greatest golf competition the world had ever known, the 'Second City Challenge'. I had obviously met Nick and Neil a few times but this was only the second time I had really met Ben, and I was a bit concerned about his golfing prowess as Nick had described him as fairly new to the game and a little bit wank.

The first tee is a majestic view out into the ocean and is surrounded by the starters hut and a full patio of eager golfers. We all get away solidly (we could tell Ben was slightly nervous due to the brown stain slowly seeping through his new golf shorts) and the first hole is completed with no real bother, although Nick was messing about with his bag something chronic muttering 'where the here did I put all of those toys?'.

On the second tee however, all was about to change. Team manchester step up to the plate and Bramwell smashes one majestically down the middle about 290 yards, Neil wangs one out into the Atlantic, narrowly missing the Isle of Man and Nick streaks one about a foot off the ground for no more than 120 yards. Then big bollocks Ben comes up, two,maybe three, solid practise swings. Approaches the ball. Shoulders shift back and a long slow piercing stare down the fairway soon follows. Head down. Clean take away. Great turn. Huge swing, massive in fact, only to find that his brand new top flite ladies number 4 ball still sitting perched on top of the tee.

He eventually manages to knob it away, and Neil, Ben and myself head off on the thirty yard walk to Bens ball, when we turn around to find what can only be described as an exploding 'Toys 'R' Us' behind us. Nick's bag strap had broken on the second tee of a long weekend of golf, and it couldn't have happened to a more cool, calm and collected man!

What memories, never to be replicated only to be bettered in this years SCC 2011.

Ps, I would suggested a quick email to Ben and Nick to ask them what happened on the final green to win SCC 2006!

PB

Dom Williams puts the record straight

Dom Williams (Team Nottingham's pin up) has contacted SCCblogspot.com to put the record straight as he appears to have been massively misquoted by a massive C (Bumwell!) in a recent post on this usually revered site. Williams Junior, who is currently out in the Carribean performing a photo shoot for GQ Magazine put out the following statement to put the record straight about his forthcoming appearance at Hale GC:

"Well, it goes without saying that apart from SCC, I dont tend to play with many golfers with special needs, therefore playing at Hale GC is the one of the more community based highlights of my golfing calendar. The rough pin positions are a challenge for any good gofer, and although I have heard some people talk down the course for being only 9 holes, I myself believe that the slighlty different tee positions on the back 9 make this an 18 hole course to be reckoned with... especially for their numerous 'special' members. Hale you have done yourself proud in your work in supporting the local community by allowing access to all and I look forward to fattening myself up in the bar after I have played with Bumwell on Friday"

Williams Junior is now only 1 medal away from becoming a 15 handicapper and he admits that times have been hard of late on the golf course after his first ever lesson which has lead to a Toger Woods style new swing. Williams has lost some of his notorious distamce of the tee, however he insists he is in it for the long game, and although he admits his performance at SCC 2011 may suffer, he is focussing on his main target of playing off 16 by the end if the summer. He was quick to point out that even though his golf isn't going well, at least his missus didn't buy him golf lessons for his birthday as she heard that he could do with all the help he could get and she wanted him out of the house a bit more... hey Matkinson?!

Over and out!

Team Manchester enter the final stages

It has been a gruelling winter's training for Team Manchester this year, with Neil 'Massive High Fade' Guyton (43) working relentlessly to achieve a commendable promotion with his local ladies hockey team and Peter 'Steady as a Rock' Bramwell (28) working tirelessly to bring down his handicap. As we can see below, the training for this years SCC 'The Times They Are A Changing' 2011 tournament has been so arduous that Mr Guyton has only time to hang Edward 'Lower Handicap than Si Porter' Guyton out to dry, rather than towel him down.





This years favourites will be meeting up tonight for the annual pre-SCC "Who should play out of their skin and carry the other team-mate" match. With Peters recent form (shot a 79 with a quadruple bogey to come down from 13.0 to 12.2) in Medal 1, it is no surprise that he is this years bookies favourite at 2/1. Whilst there is no surprise that Nick 'Still Gay' Brooker is again odd's on favourite to abandon all toys on the first tee at a huge 1/14.

Following tonights Team Manchester meeting, there with be a 'Clash of the Titan's' on Friday 29th at 9.30am, hosted by Royal Hale GC. This year see's the leading team players from each of the SCC teams meeting for what is expected to be a huge crowd puller. This year unfortunately no team member from Team Liverpool could be present (due to a lack of invitation) so a representational appearance for Matkinson will take place in the form of Mrs E Williams (34). Mrs Williams current husband and all round gay Dom 'C' Williams (39 1/2) gave a quick interview this week before Fridays big event, "Well, it goes without saying that apart from SCC, playing Royal Hale GC is the highlight of my golfing calendar. The tough pin positions are a challenge for any good golfer, and although I have heard some people talk down the course for being only 9 holes, I myself believe that the completely and utterly different tee positions on the back 9 make this definitely an 18 hole course to be reckoned with. Hale you have done yourself proud and I look forward to fatting it all the way round on Friday."

We look forward to hearing the results and no doubt an update will appear soon.

PB

Newsflash from Augusta...

Tiger Woods has announced as he chases another major title he felt the need to change his short game / putting coach and who better to take on this position than Team Nottingham’s Dom Williams. Williams jnr has been spotted on the greens at Augusta after being flown out last night following his extraordinary performance at the Old Speckled Hen Golf Day at Coxmoor. Williams Jnr only four putted once and managed approximately 10 three putts on greens that were thought to be faster than those at Augusta, this is the kind of form that he hopes to pass on to the former world number 1 this week. In other news, Nick Brooker has been placed on suicide watch following his completely humiliating 5 and 4 defeat to Pet ‘Tubby’ Bumwell at the weekend. A source close to Brooker (thought to be Supermarket Sweep extraordinaire Dale Winton) said that Brooker was a broken man… but he hoped a bit of retail therapy and a good old fashioned buggering should do the trick and have him right as rain within a few days!