The SCC: January 2008

Thursday 17 January 2008

Team Birminghan Exclusive Pics ...

The paparazzi have been at it again, this is a fantastic picture captured as Ben Williams, Team Birmingham, very nearly 30, pulled the classic, "2nd Tee Fresh-Air" shot earlier this month.

Ben's response was hesitant, but casual, "F**K OFF! You f**king f**k wits!" We await to see if all the practice will pay off, and if the bookies are anything to go by, it won't.

SCC Captain To Stand Down ....?

Following the recent allegations of his embarrasing incontinence, yet more turgid rumours have come to light.

"I like to have a good time," says SCC Captain Neil Guyton, 27, "And if that means surrounding yourself in beautiful women while urinating, then i will most certainly take part." Seen here in recent grainy photographs, the SCC Captain is quickly gaining a Freddie Flintoff reputation as sponsors quickly withdraw from this years competition.

A spokesman from Malibu said, "This is clearly not the kind of actions we like our product to be associated with. No matter how much people drink, we certainly don't want them p*ssing themselves. Quite frankly, Neil has disgraced himself and our brand, he should be ashamed of himself!"

It also seems that Neil's golf isn't the only thing being affected. A leaked source has also found out that he got given a pasting in a recent Squash Competition with team partner Peter Bramwell, 25. We did try to get a statement from Peter, all he said was this, "I will neither deny nor confirm the allegations. It was a very close match, and both parties were pleased with the outcome. I don't think that he should give up his day job though."

A statement will be released from Neil Guyton's press office later on today.

Wednesday 16 January 2008

SCC Captain in weeing himself shocker!

Incoming SCC Captain and two time SCC champion Neil Guyton has this week found himself embroiled in controversy as pictures showing him not only under the influence of sambuca but quite clearly in a state of post piss (whilst not removing his trousers!)

His 'people' are claiming that the photo is quite clearly photoshopped and the Accountant would never find himself in a position where a W.C. was unobtainable.

This story has caused serious unrest in the Team Manchester camp, who were due to start SCC preparations for their second defence in the coming weeks. Neil's partner (in golf), Peter Bramwell has reacted angrily to his team mate's antics and had the following to say,

"I'm right annoyed at this, I told him it would come out soon. I heard his people are saying that the photo has been edited to make it look worse but that's bo**ocks, I was there and it happened. In fact it happens all the time and its really starting to annoy, especially when we have to share a bed when on official Team Manchester duties".

This story has reportedly found favour with the rest of the SCC competitors who are said to be looking forward to 'taking the p*ss' out of Team Manchester.

Tuesday 15 January 2008

Late change to tee times announced

Following extensive discussions with representatives from Aberdovey Golf Club, it has been announced that the tee times have been changed to accomodate anticipated fading light.

The changes see the afternoon tee off times being brought forward by half an hour to ensure bad light does not become an issue for the final few holes.

Following on from this, in order to maintain a 5 hour gap between rounds and more importantly to allow all competitors to complete the obligatory 2 pint lunchtime requirement set out by the Committee, the morning tee off times have also been adjusted

The changes mean that Team Manchester, as reigning holders, and their opponents will be teeing off at 9:36 closley followed by the second match at 9:44.

The afternoon tee off times are now set at 2:48 and 2:56. Staurdays tee off times remain unchanged at 2:08 and 2:16

It awaits to be seen what effect this will have on attendences at the third annual Second City Challenge.

Thursday 10 January 2008

SCC featured once again in national publication!

Uncertainty reigns over Team Liverpool replacement

The first 'alternate' for the 3rd annual Second City Challenge, Mr C. Seddon, was approached by the incumbant Captain on Thursday afternoon to join the ranks of Team Liverpool.

Organisers were left somewhat apprehensive however, when the 5 handicapper from Horwich, Bolton, indicated that work commitments on the Friday, thereby missing 36 of the 54 holes, may have to take priority.

Chris Seddon's management, known by the SCC to be Mike Nowland, is looking into the possibility of 'pulling a sickie' or rearranging said commitments. Chris made the following comments with regards to his predicament

'It leaves me feeling as sick as a one of Luke Porter's dumps that I might not be able to make the SCC. I have worked hard all year to improve my golf to a standard which would be deemed acceptable for such high class opponents, and although I am not quite there yet, it is with great sadness that 'Blowing my own trumpet' is what pays the bills.'

With that Mr. Seddon left to chants of 'Trumpet, trumpet, trumpet' to which the astonishing reply was 'STOP NOBBING AROUND'.

The future of Team Liverpool will become clearer next Tuesday when Chris is able to give a firm answer to the invitation.

Tuesday 8 January 2008

The SCC gets the press it deserves.....

Monday 7 January 2008

Kelsall Withdrawal Dissappoints SCC Competitors

In a decision that mirrors Ernie Els decision to miss the final European Tour Event, Dan Kelsall has expressed his regret at opting to fulfil his sponsors requirements and compete in the Qualifying School for an ACA Tour Card rather than take up the invitation to compete at the 2008 SCC.

A veteran of no SCCs, but a particularly good looking chap, Kelsall made his decision with a heavy heart, "The SCC is obviously the premier event on the European Tour Calender, missing out for second successive year has left me with a strange and empty feeling. Fingers crossed this unfortunate turn of events has not jeopardised future participation, Team Liverpool will fight on and I wish my partner Matkin Son and all the other competitors all the best for the competition."

On hearing the news, fellow competitors Nick Brooker and Pete Bramwell harmonised "It's guy love, between two guys" while Si Porter sorted some pies. Early speculation regarding a replacement suggest World Number 2 Phil Mickleson expressed interest but was not sure his short game would be a match for World Number 4,987,436 Dom Williams. Further speculation has centred around a Les Contamines training camp where several possible replacements were seen.

A final word must go to Mr. T with the emotional "Shut Up, Fool!"

SCC History

The idea of an annual golfing challenge between Birmingham and Manchester was first proposed at some time over the Christmas of 2005. Since that time, two-ball teams have fought over a gruelling weekend for the honour of calling their city ‘Britain’s Second City’.

Royal Nefyn Golf Course in North Wales hosted the first competition over the Easter of 2006.

The representatives of Birmingham, Nicholas Brooker and Benjamin Williams fought to the last hole of an intense weekend of golf, over three rounds, only to succumb to a world-class put on the final hole from Peter Bramwell, representing Manchester. Neil Guyton, the other member of the Manchester pairing carded an estimated two under par for the final round to help the Mancunians to the title of Britain’s Second City, 2006.

The success of the competition in its fledgling year was enough to generate interest from other cities around the country believing they can stake a claim to the title of Britain’s Second City.

The competition moved to Royal St Davids in 2007 and witnessed a swelling in competitor numbers with the introduction of groups from Liverpool and Nottingham. Mathew Atkinson playing for Liverpool and Simon Porter and Dominic Williams playing for Nottingham were unable to mount any sort of a challenge in the new format competition. Manchester retained their crown after another tense final hole in which Nottingham could have won either the title or wooden spoon. They ended up with the latter. Birminghams challenge was dealt a cruel blow as Ben Williams was struck down by tonsilitus.

SCC2008 was hosted by Averdovey over a cold and windy April weekend. For the first time, competitor numbers were at capacity with the addition of Chris Seddon to the Liverpool team. As seems to be the tradition with the competition, the title went to the last hole where Birmingham held their nerve against a rejuvinated Nottingham pairing. Liverpool collected the wooden spoon.

SCC2009 tooks the competitors to South Wales and the Pennard Golf Club, near Swansea. With a surge of golf club membership over the summer, the event promised to dish up golf of an even higher quality than had been witnessed so far. However, the extreme challenge presented by Pennard reduced the competetors to wrecks of the former golfers they once were! Manchester secured their 3rd title at the 16th hole of the final round against a highly competitive Team Liverpool. Birmingham narrowly beat Liverpool to second place with a final round victory over the wooden spoon winners Nottingham.

2010 was a big year for the SCC. The 5th year anniversary competition saw the teams take on a the new challenge of Tenby Golf Course. In a break with tradition, this years captain was elected from outside of the original foursome and all agreed than Matkinson did an excellent job. Neil Guytons absence from the Team Manchester line up did little to change the recent trend. Pet Bumwell, partnered by Matt Miller, chalked up another victory on the excellent Tenby track. The only thing counting against the course was the huge journies faced by all.

2011 saw Nick take up the captaincy reigns. The SCC went back to it's roots and introduced Nottingham and Liverpool to the wonders of the old course at Neffyn.

2012 is a seminal year in the history of the competition. The format and name were both changed in order to expand the number of competitors to 9. The Second City Challenge from this point on became simply The SCC. The new competition now pitches 3 3-ball teams against each other, drawn according to handicap this year, but in future years based upon performance in the previous years competition. The first test of the new competition was held at Pyle and Kenfig. 'Getting blobby' was born amidst some high scoring as a result of the usual SCC weather.

2013 took The SCC to North Wales Golf Club, Llandudno in the hope of providing a slightly less harsh golfing test for the players. The rain and wind stayed away for the most part and scores were must improved. An early target for best individual score was set by B Williams of 46 points (off a handicap of 20).