Monday 7 January 2008

Kelsall Withdrawal Dissappoints SCC Competitors

In a decision that mirrors Ernie Els decision to miss the final European Tour Event, Dan Kelsall has expressed his regret at opting to fulfil his sponsors requirements and compete in the Qualifying School for an ACA Tour Card rather than take up the invitation to compete at the 2008 SCC.

A veteran of no SCCs, but a particularly good looking chap, Kelsall made his decision with a heavy heart, "The SCC is obviously the premier event on the European Tour Calender, missing out for second successive year has left me with a strange and empty feeling. Fingers crossed this unfortunate turn of events has not jeopardised future participation, Team Liverpool will fight on and I wish my partner Matkin Son and all the other competitors all the best for the competition."

On hearing the news, fellow competitors Nick Brooker and Pete Bramwell harmonised "It's guy love, between two guys" while Si Porter sorted some pies. Early speculation regarding a replacement suggest World Number 2 Phil Mickleson expressed interest but was not sure his short game would be a match for World Number 4,987,436 Dom Williams. Further speculation has centred around a Les Contamines training camp where several possible replacements were seen.

A final word must go to Mr. T with the emotional "Shut Up, Fool!"

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