The SCC: March 2013

Tuesday 26 March 2013

William Hill Confirm Captains Predictions

This was a live screen shot taken from the William Hill website at 9.39am on Tuesday 26th March.....

Monday 25 March 2013

New Love Sparks SCC 8

With time ticking away on the Opening Ceremony of SCC, it seems romance is in the air and having a remarkable effect on the golfers results. Odds on Tiger (porter) Woods to be named No 1 Golfer at this years event have been slashed. Woods has been on an impressive streak in form after recently announcing his steamy relationship with Lyndsey Vonn, US World cup & Olympic Downhill ski champion (pictured together below). After moving into pot 2 at last years event, 'Si'ger has his eyes firmly on joining the big boys in the top pot.

Woods commented "there's no way that 'hit it and hope' Captain C Seddon can remain up in pot 1. He got away with it big time last year and I firmly believe he'll be contributing heavily to the blobometer at SCC 8." Betting odds confirm these suspicions as Mr Captain has managed just 2 rounds of golf this year due to the new love interest in his life combined with the recent artic conditions. Seddon confirmed his new regime of early mornings and picking up shit is having a real knock-on effect on his preparations and he can't get enough of it.....

On other news, the SCC Commitee can confirm a new award for this years event. With the insertion of the 'Blobometer', it has been decided the blobiest member of the group with be presented with an intellectual goblet to be paraded at the 'SCC Bad Shirt after party' and will be the winners for the following 12 months. We believe everyone will agree that no player will want to be the holder of such a title but the award will be presented to Benjamin Williams at this years opening ceremony based on last years results. Players.....get.....practising!

Friday 15 March 2013

Wales troubled by lack of sheep for opening ceremony

Another year passes, time for practising slowly slips away and as Si 'the ghost' Porter dusts off his dunlop persimmons the great SCC opening ceremony draws near, but this year the revellers are in for (more) disappointment.

As is usual with the SCC opening ceremony, each full paying entrant gets, "Full access to a whole, live and untainted sheep", but this year looks like it may have to break from that tradition.

Farmer Gryffyd Schllymmnd, the SCC's trusted sheep breeder had this to say, "Well, I don’t know what to say."

Thought provoking as Mr Schllymmnd's comments were, SCC blog decided to look deeper into a trend which has been happening all across the country over the past 24 months. Farms from as far south as Cardiff up to the northerly spots such as Lllandudno have seen a dramatic drop in numbers of the sexy woolly beasts and people are starting to get worried. Suggestions have been that they have turn into daffodils during the spring, they have taken to swimming or are hiding behind cows, all preposterous and quite frankly ridiculous, but one theme does seem to carry weight – the travelling salesman.

24 months ago Nick 'Faldo' Brooker started selling for a small time golf trolley manufacturer and sheep levels were at an all time high, but in direct correlation with the 'businessman's' visits and travel habits have we seen these numbers fall, and seen an increase in numbers of 'used' sheep.

When questioned on the subject Nick at first refused to comment, but after prising a rather startled looking ewe out of his grasp he finally decided to 'fess-up'.

"Yes, I might have had something to do with it, but it can't all be my fault. It started small, I was only going for the pretty ones, you know. Once a week, maybe twice. But then it gets you. You think, maybe I can go for a week without it, but then I pass a field full of them and I just couldn't help myself. Soon I was up to twenty maybe thirty over the week and it was just a downward spiral from there. I've tried moving on, I really have, but it's just so hard. I will tell you this though, I have cut down to only 5 a week now, and I am wearing woolly jumpers to keep the cravings down. I feel that I must also apologise to the fans who will be attending the opening ceremony, it looks like there might only be enough left for one-between-two."

On hearing the news local SCC fan Dffyll Pgstrw said this, "I don’t care what happens, im not going two's up on no sheep, not now, not ever that’s just disgusting and immoral, I want me own one to bugger thank you very much."

What will happen, who knows? We will just have to wait to find out

Pete 'The Length' Bramwell

Rasmus II 'finds higgs-boson particle'

Worlds greatest scientists 'in state of shock and awe'

Startling news from our science correspondent that, such is the complexity of the latest version of Rasmus II it is alleged to have beaten CERN's Hadron Collider in identifying the 'Higgs-Boson' particle. Scientists are also investigating claims from it's inventor, B. Williams esq. that it can be used to travel back in time as well as, perhaps most shockingly, allow the user to manipulate it in such a manner as to make it's creator's score card 'look acceptable'.

Asked to comment on this startling revelation, Prof. Stephen J Hawking had this to say:
"Balls. Beaten to the punch by some bum bandit. Still at least i can wang a 3 Iron further than half the SCC'ers"

SCC History

The idea of an annual golfing challenge between Birmingham and Manchester was first proposed at some time over the Christmas of 2005. Since that time, two-ball teams have fought over a gruelling weekend for the honour of calling their city ‘Britain’s Second City’.

Royal Nefyn Golf Course in North Wales hosted the first competition over the Easter of 2006.

The representatives of Birmingham, Nicholas Brooker and Benjamin Williams fought to the last hole of an intense weekend of golf, over three rounds, only to succumb to a world-class put on the final hole from Peter Bramwell, representing Manchester. Neil Guyton, the other member of the Manchester pairing carded an estimated two under par for the final round to help the Mancunians to the title of Britain’s Second City, 2006.

The success of the competition in its fledgling year was enough to generate interest from other cities around the country believing they can stake a claim to the title of Britain’s Second City.

The competition moved to Royal St Davids in 2007 and witnessed a swelling in competitor numbers with the introduction of groups from Liverpool and Nottingham. Mathew Atkinson playing for Liverpool and Simon Porter and Dominic Williams playing for Nottingham were unable to mount any sort of a challenge in the new format competition. Manchester retained their crown after another tense final hole in which Nottingham could have won either the title or wooden spoon. They ended up with the latter. Birminghams challenge was dealt a cruel blow as Ben Williams was struck down by tonsilitus.

SCC2008 was hosted by Averdovey over a cold and windy April weekend. For the first time, competitor numbers were at capacity with the addition of Chris Seddon to the Liverpool team. As seems to be the tradition with the competition, the title went to the last hole where Birmingham held their nerve against a rejuvinated Nottingham pairing. Liverpool collected the wooden spoon.

SCC2009 tooks the competitors to South Wales and the Pennard Golf Club, near Swansea. With a surge of golf club membership over the summer, the event promised to dish up golf of an even higher quality than had been witnessed so far. However, the extreme challenge presented by Pennard reduced the competetors to wrecks of the former golfers they once were! Manchester secured their 3rd title at the 16th hole of the final round against a highly competitive Team Liverpool. Birmingham narrowly beat Liverpool to second place with a final round victory over the wooden spoon winners Nottingham.

2010 was a big year for the SCC. The 5th year anniversary competition saw the teams take on a the new challenge of Tenby Golf Course. In a break with tradition, this years captain was elected from outside of the original foursome and all agreed than Matkinson did an excellent job. Neil Guytons absence from the Team Manchester line up did little to change the recent trend. Pet Bumwell, partnered by Matt Miller, chalked up another victory on the excellent Tenby track. The only thing counting against the course was the huge journies faced by all.

2011 saw Nick take up the captaincy reigns. The SCC went back to it's roots and introduced Nottingham and Liverpool to the wonders of the old course at Neffyn.

2012 is a seminal year in the history of the competition. The format and name were both changed in order to expand the number of competitors to 9. The Second City Challenge from this point on became simply The SCC. The new competition now pitches 3 3-ball teams against each other, drawn according to handicap this year, but in future years based upon performance in the previous years competition. The first test of the new competition was held at Pyle and Kenfig. 'Getting blobby' was born amidst some high scoring as a result of the usual SCC weather.

2013 took The SCC to North Wales Golf Club, Llandudno in the hope of providing a slightly less harsh golfing test for the players. The rain and wind stayed away for the most part and scores were must improved. An early target for best individual score was set by B Williams of 46 points (off a handicap of 20).