Another year passes, time for practising slowly slips away and as Si 'the ghost' Porter dusts off his dunlop persimmons the great SCC opening ceremony draws near, but this year the revellers are in for (more) disappointment.
As is usual with the SCC opening ceremony, each full paying entrant gets, "Full access to a whole, live and untainted sheep", but this year looks like it may have to break from that tradition.
Farmer Gryffyd Schllymmnd, the SCC's trusted sheep breeder had this to say, "Well, I don’t know what to say."
Thought provoking as Mr Schllymmnd's comments were, SCC blog decided to look deeper into a trend which has been happening all across the country over the past 24 months. Farms from as far south as Cardiff up to the northerly spots such as Lllandudno have seen a dramatic drop in numbers of the sexy woolly beasts and people are starting to get worried. Suggestions have been that they have turn into daffodils during the spring, they have taken to swimming or are hiding behind cows, all preposterous and quite frankly ridiculous, but one theme does seem to carry weight – the travelling salesman.
24 months ago Nick 'Faldo' Brooker started selling for a small time golf trolley manufacturer and sheep levels were at an all time high, but in direct correlation with the 'businessman's' visits and travel habits have we seen these numbers fall, and seen an increase in numbers of 'used' sheep.
When questioned on the subject Nick at first refused to comment, but after prising a rather startled looking ewe out of his grasp he finally decided to 'fess-up'.
"Yes, I might have had something to do with it, but it can't all be my fault. It started small, I was only going for the pretty ones, you know. Once a week, maybe twice. But then it gets you. You think, maybe I can go for a week without it, but then I pass a field full of them and I just couldn't help myself. Soon I was up to twenty maybe thirty over the week and it was just a downward spiral from there. I've tried moving on, I really have, but it's just so hard. I will tell you this though, I have cut down to only 5 a week now, and I am wearing woolly jumpers to keep the cravings down. I feel that I must also apologise to the fans who will be attending the opening ceremony, it looks like there might only be enough left for one-between-two."
On hearing the news local SCC fan Dffyll Pgstrw said this, "I don’t care what happens, im not going two's up on no sheep, not now, not ever that’s just disgusting and immoral, I want me own one to bugger thank you very much."
What will happen, who knows? We will just have to wait to find out
Pete 'The Length' Bramwell
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