Extra Length for Brummies Scares the Locals

The girls of Wales collectively went weak at the knees earlier today when it was revealed that Ben Williams will be arriving later this month with even more length than last year!

Addfwyn, 23 of Aberdovey, needed medical attention when she realised the impact of this news. We caught up with her at the back of the ambulance where she told us "This sort of thing just isn't normally heard of in these parts. Us country girls can only dream of seeing the length that Ben is rumoured to be in command of".

Sharron, 35 of Dudley who witnessed the additional length at her local driving range recently had to be carried from the scene, although it is rumoured she has seen a great deal of length and width in her time...

OverThe Hill?

The SCC comittee would like to wish a warm congratulations to Benjamin Williams for reaching the knee crippling age of 30. It's a testament to Nick Brooker that he plan's to stick with his aged playing partner since Ben's abilities will soon be deteriorating (further).

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to Benjamin,
and a very Happy Birthday to you Sir.

Nottingham Also Announce Sponsorship Deal ..

Team Nottingham have decided to postpone any potential sponsorship deals until 2009 despite real interest from all of the big names. Si Porter (59) commented "we decided to hold off for a year, my trusty Donnay Slammer will last another year and I entitled to OAP rates in 2009 so will take advantage of my bus pass to travel around golf outlets to hunt out the best deal available."

Team Nottingham expect to put up a stronger fight at this years tournament and Si porter has assured the other participants that he will turn up to at Aberdovey this year and that he won't expect his team mate to carry him through the entire tournament... again!

Team Manchesters New Sponsorship

The newspaper stories have been confirmed earlier today as Team Manchester announce their new sponsorship deals.

"As long as it looked good and felt good we were happy," said Peter Bramwell, "Obviously money was the riding factor, and there was plenty, but we are both happy with the decisions."

SCC Captain, Neil Guyton, 42, went for the conventional Ping G10, to no surprise of his fans. Whereas Peter Bramwell, a mere 25 and looking good for it, went for the Taylormade R7 CGB Max, because he liked the name and it was a nice red colour.

Both players are going to be testing their new drivers this weekend at the soon to be announced Ryder Cup Venue for 2015, Hale Golf Club. It will be a testament to the players if they can control these new beasts after unleashing them on this tricky 9 holer.

Wikipedia cotton onto the potential adervtising deals

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_City_Challenge

Intrest grows in SCC

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/northwest/sites/aberdyfi/pages/askalocal.shtml?comment=response#thanks

David Creswick is obviously in the know as he questions the BBC for more SCC news.

Team Birminghan Exclusive Pics ...

The paparazzi have been at it again, this is a fantastic picture captured as Ben Williams, Team Birmingham, very nearly 30, pulled the classic, "2nd Tee Fresh-Air" shot earlier this month.

Ben's response was hesitant, but casual, "F**K OFF! You f**king f**k wits!" We await to see if all the practice will pay off, and if the bookies are anything to go by, it won't.

SCC Captain To Stand Down ....?

Following the recent allegations of his embarrasing incontinence, yet more turgid rumours have come to light.

"I like to have a good time," says SCC Captain Neil Guyton, 27, "And if that means surrounding yourself in beautiful women while urinating, then i will most certainly take part." Seen here in recent grainy photographs, the SCC Captain is quickly gaining a Freddie Flintoff reputation as sponsors quickly withdraw from this years competition.

A spokesman from Malibu said, "This is clearly not the kind of actions we like our product to be associated with. No matter how much people drink, we certainly don't want them p*ssing themselves. Quite frankly, Neil has disgraced himself and our brand, he should be ashamed of himself!"

It also seems that Neil's golf isn't the only thing being affected. A leaked source has also found out that he got given a pasting in a recent Squash Competition with team partner Peter Bramwell, 25. We did try to get a statement from Peter, all he said was this, "I will neither deny nor confirm the allegations. It was a very close match, and both parties were pleased with the outcome. I don't think that he should give up his day job though."

A statement will be released from Neil Guyton's press office later on today.

SCC Captain in weeing himself shocker!

Incoming SCC Captain and two time SCC champion Neil Guyton has this week found himself embroiled in controversy as pictures showing him not only under the influence of sambuca but quite clearly in a state of post piss (whilst not removing his trousers!)

His 'people' are claiming that the photo is quite clearly photoshopped and the Accountant would never find himself in a position where a W.C. was unobtainable.

This story has caused serious unrest in the Team Manchester camp, who were due to start SCC preparations for their second defence in the coming weeks. Neil's partner (in golf), Peter Bramwell has reacted angrily to his team mate's antics and had the following to say,

"I'm right annoyed at this, I told him it would come out soon. I heard his people are saying that the photo has been edited to make it look worse but that's bo**ocks, I was there and it happened. In fact it happens all the time and its really starting to annoy, especially when we have to share a bed when on official Team Manchester duties".

This story has reportedly found favour with the rest of the SCC competitors who are said to be looking forward to 'taking the p*ss' out of Team Manchester.

Late change to tee times announced

Following extensive discussions with representatives from Aberdovey Golf Club, it has been announced that the tee times have been changed to accomodate anticipated fading light.

The changes see the afternoon tee off times being brought forward by half an hour to ensure bad light does not become an issue for the final few holes.

Following on from this, in order to maintain a 5 hour gap between rounds and more importantly to allow all competitors to complete the obligatory 2 pint lunchtime requirement set out by the Committee, the morning tee off times have also been adjusted

The changes mean that Team Manchester, as reigning holders, and their opponents will be teeing off at 9:36 closley followed by the second match at 9:44.

The afternoon tee off times are now set at 2:48 and 2:56. Staurdays tee off times remain unchanged at 2:08 and 2:16

It awaits to be seen what effect this will have on attendences at the third annual Second City Challenge.

SCC featured once again in national publication!

Uncertainty reigns over Team Liverpool replacement

The first 'alternate' for the 3rd annual Second City Challenge, Mr C. Seddon, was approached by the incumbant Captain on Thursday afternoon to join the ranks of Team Liverpool.

Organisers were left somewhat apprehensive however, when the 5 handicapper from Horwich, Bolton, indicated that work commitments on the Friday, thereby missing 36 of the 54 holes, may have to take priority.

Chris Seddon's management, known by the SCC to be Mike Nowland, is looking into the possibility of 'pulling a sickie' or rearranging said commitments. Chris made the following comments with regards to his predicament

'It leaves me feeling as sick as a one of Luke Porter's dumps that I might not be able to make the SCC. I have worked hard all year to improve my golf to a standard which would be deemed acceptable for such high class opponents, and although I am not quite there yet, it is with great sadness that 'Blowing my own trumpet' is what pays the bills.'

With that Mr. Seddon left to chants of 'Trumpet, trumpet, trumpet' to which the astonishing reply was 'STOP NOBBING AROUND'.

The future of Team Liverpool will become clearer next Tuesday when Chris is able to give a firm answer to the invitation.

The SCC gets the press it deserves.....

Kelsall Withdrawal Dissappoints SCC Competitors

In a decision that mirrors Ernie Els decision to miss the final European Tour Event, Dan Kelsall has expressed his regret at opting to fulfil his sponsors requirements and compete in the Qualifying School for an ACA Tour Card rather than take up the invitation to compete at the 2008 SCC.

A veteran of no SCCs, but a particularly good looking chap, Kelsall made his decision with a heavy heart, "The SCC is obviously the premier event on the European Tour Calender, missing out for second successive year has left me with a strange and empty feeling. Fingers crossed this unfortunate turn of events has not jeopardised future participation, Team Liverpool will fight on and I wish my partner Matkin Son and all the other competitors all the best for the competition."

On hearing the news, fellow competitors Nick Brooker and Pete Bramwell harmonised "It's guy love, between two guys" while Si Porter sorted some pies. Early speculation regarding a replacement suggest World Number 2 Phil Mickleson expressed interest but was not sure his short game would be a match for World Number 4,987,436 Dom Williams. Further speculation has centred around a Les Contamines training camp where several possible replacements were seen.

A final word must go to Mr. T with the emotional "Shut Up, Fool!"

Aberdovey Gears Up for the SCC

Locals in the sleepy village of Aberdovey have begun their preperations as the area awaits the arrival of eight golfing greats aiming to cement their place in sporting history at the Second City Challenge 2008.

Allan Jones, leader of the local neighbourhood watch told us earlier that "we can't wait to welcome the teams to our village, 'specially Ben - he's a bit of a hero of ours".

Daffyd Jones, local prostitute and welsh speaker commented "ccccllllllhhhrr cccclllgggghhhh araf".

For more details of the area AND THE LOCAL PUBS, try the official Aberdovey web-site;

http://www.aberdovey.org.uk/

Merry Men Agree Kit Deal

The Merry Men of Team Nottingham have nobly agreed to take on responsibility for players shirts for the coming competition. Speaking recently, Mr D. Williams announced that "it was the least that we could do, me duck, but more importantly it'll mean we won't have to wear lime green this time around!"

Earlier, it had been agreed at a board meeting that team colours should remain constant from year to year, with new colours alocated to new cities only. New players representing cities that have previously participated must wear the colour originally reserved for the city.
Also, one star is to be worn on the players left tit to represent each victory.

The 2008 colours will be as follows;

Birmingham - Blue
Leeds - Orange
Manchester - Red
Nottingham - Green

Player Accomodation Unveiled

Current SCC captain, Mr N. Guyton has confirmed that the players competing in SCC 2008 will be staying in two traditional Welsh cottages, ideally located close to the centre of the picturesque village of Aberdyfi on the Cambrian Coast. Superbly located in close proximity to Aberdovey Golf Club, these cottages offer the ideal base from which all four teams launch their bid to become 2008 Second City Champions.

Located on the same street, 3 doors apart, both residences have been awarded a 4-star rating for self-catering accommodation by the Welsh Tourist Board.

For more details and directions, please visit their respective websites;

Anchor Cottage - http://www.anchorcottage.co.uk/
Chatts Cottage - http://www.chattscottage.co.uk/

Provisional Tee Times Announced

Following the recent bad publicity surrounding the SCC, attention is now firmly focused on golf once more.
Earlier this week, provisional tee times were ageed. and Mr Guyton has confirmed the following to be accurate first tee timings;

FRIDAY 18th April

10.00
15.15

SATURDAY 19th April
14.08

The order of play, as is customary, will be decided "down the pub" on the Thursday evening, with Team Manchester already confirmed in group one as reigning champions.

Merry Men are Merry no More

In an unprecedented day of events, further controversy has beset preparations for SCCIII.

It is understood that Team Nottingham is experiencing a period of team unrest and we can exclusively reveal, here on the SCC official pages, that Dominic "Maid Marrion" Williams has deserted Simon "Tuck" Porter and relocated to Leicestershire.

It is understood that the house move is down to "family" reasons and rumours are rife about the iminant arrival of a child in the cap. It would be in good company, as both Nottingham players are widely regarded on tour as "a pair of big babies".

This set-back is the last thing that the tight-wearing sissies would have wanted following their wooden spoon winning performance last year, and will send shock waves which are sure to reach the deepest roots of the Major Oak.

Nobody at Team Nottingham was available for comment this afternoon, but an official statement is due from Nottingham Castle early tomorrow.

Is it Leeds or is it Amsterdam?

Controversy has hit the SCC in a massive way, with breaking news that one of the competitors has decided to move outside of British borders and currently resides in Amsterdam of Hollandish fame.

Matthew Atkinson (pictured above right in yet more rough!), has stated "I have only moved for a 6 month period due to professional commitments, my heart and soul is with the SCC and should it threaten my place in Team Leeds I would back to the UK in a heart beat".

Atkinson's partner for 2008, Daniel Kelsall is also very nervous at the thought of his partner spending at least six months in the city of sin. "I don't think that half a year of smoking illegal substances and indulging in professional ladies is the best way to prepare for such a big event"

This isn't the first time that Atkinson has been involved in controversy. In 2007 not only was playing as a one ball in what is clearly a better ball format, but he was representing Team Liverpool. He claimed at the time that his goldfish's auntie once went there but this is yet to be ratified. He came 2nd in that event and Team Birmingham are reported as 'disappointed' that someone has illegally represented a city, and they are pushing hard for the SCC to award them the silver medal retrospectively. We should have definitive decision posted on this website in the coming weeks.