Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Interest Grows in SCC.... again

Following the earlier article detailing the internet post of David Creswick, it is clear that the popularity of the SCC is growing at a fair rate. In response to Creswicks remarks on the BBC website, Pimon Sorter notes with great excitement that he was intending to attend SCC2008. Let's hope he enjoyed the golfing feast that was on display!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/northwest/sites/aberdyfi/pages/askalocal.shtml?comment=response#thanks

Aberdovey enjoyed " outstanding" etiquette

Ben Williams has recieved a glowing response to the earlier correspondence thanking Aberdovey for hosting SCC2008. The letter from Ian Hamilton, Manager of Aberdovey GC praises the players "behaviour and etiquette", stating that it "was outstanding and a real credit to the game that we cherish."

The letter is finished on a lighter note and probably refers mainly to the presence of Ben "pin-up boy" Williams. Hamilton states that "we don't oftern get pictures of young golf punks like yourself so I have posted your picture in the ladies changing room." No word of a lie - read the letter for yourself (below)!

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

"Wonderful" Course Formally Recognised by Players

A letter has today been sent to Averdovey golf course praising the way in which it hosted this years competition. In-coming captain, Ben Williams goes on the record with a glowing acknowedgement of the welcome recieved from both staff and members.

This formal recognition of the contribution which Aberdovey made to another hugely successful competition is likely to lead to a massive increase in visitor numbers. New membership applications have been so large in number that the local postman has been signed off work for a month with a bad back!

As a final beautiful gesture by the players, a photograpgh of the 4 teams was sent to the club with a letter. And, in a special treat for all members of the club, the photo was signed by Ben Williams, one half of this years winning team.

Monday, 21 April 2008

SCC 2008 Official Photos Released


2008 Competitors

2008 Winners - Team Birmingham


2008 Wooden Spoon Recipients - Team Liverpool

Peter Bumwell after ONE round of golf cost him 114 shots and 12 golf balls (ouch!)

Unlucky camera angle or doggy fiddler .....


An apparent backlash from SCC Team Birmingham winner Nick Brooker has ended up with him being in more bother than he originally expected.

Seen here on a close up of the picture he released to media, it is quite apparent that Nick Brooker likes nothing more than to insert his grubby fingers into live pets. "Not only am i shocked, but disgusted," said Ben Williams, Brooker's team mate and bed sharing partner. "When it came to golf he always told me that he liked to get his hands dirty, but this really takes the (dog) biscuit. He needs to have a serious word with himself and sort his fetishes out, the dirty, dirty b@stard."

Nick Brooker is yet to comment.

How can this man be a law breaker????


Nick Brooker has not hit back angrily at recent comments (as this is not in his nature), but has made it clear that he has never nor would ever participate in such recreational activities.


Brooker, pictured above, is not only a man of of the people, but a renowned animal lover (not in that way!) and maintains he has always played his sport with total sportsmanship his number one priority.


'I may F & Jeff on the course a bit, maybe the odd the club chuck, I may also have earned over 15 cards during the recent hockey season but quite clearly I would never jeopardise my promising SCC career with such a flagrant disregard for the rules'. He continued to say 'I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this image is the handy work of the very talented P Bumwell of a bitter Team Manchester. I say talented in a photshop sense of course as 114 and 12 lost balls doesn't equate to mastery of the course now!'

Sunday, 20 April 2008

DRUGS SCANDAL ROCKS SCC 08

It has been revealed exclusively to blogspot.com that the SCC 08 Champions Team Birmingham have been stripped off their title, resulting in Team Nottingham moving up into 1st place. Nick Brooker of Team Birmingham has failed a random drugs test, Brooker who performed so incredibly well throughout the tournament missed his 1st scheduled drugs test and when quizzed over his whereabouts he commented "I was out buying vegetables, i knew nothing about a test and I have nothing to fear as I am clean and would never touch drugs."

When the drugs unit finally got to carry out their tests, Brooker tested positive for Cannabis, Ketamine, liquid gold, lavender, lily of the valley, 17 different kinds of semen and viagra.

This image quite clearly shows Brooker with what can only be described as a dirty great spliff on a recent sex trip that he made to Amsterdam. Brooker has a shady past and it appears that his live fast die young, sex rock and roll lifestyle (maybe not the sex!) has caught up with him. Although Cannabis is not classed as a performance enhancing drug, Roger and Alan at the PGA HQ are keen to kick all drug users out of the sport. It is not clear as to how long Brooker will be be banned for, however it is highly unlikely that he will be allowed to play at SCC09.

Brooker's partner, who also happens to play golf with him, Ben Williams who put in three fantastic rounds of golf has a history of strong antibiotic use, however he appears to have avoided the radar of the drugs unit.

Team Nottingham's Dom Williams commented "We were not surprised by this breaking newstory, Nick was smoking all the way around Aberdovey's golf course, I walked into the locker room to see him doing a line off one of the urinals. We would obviously have preferred to have won this most coveted trophy outright, but the cheating Brummie yam yam ba****ds need to be taught a lesson"

Simon Porter also of team Nottingham said "I never had this sort of problem when playing with Nick Faldo." Porter was heard earlier today commenting that he has played with Faldo and that in his opinion Brooker hits the ball as well, if not better than the former Masters winner. It is apparent that the reason for this is his flagrant disregard to the law and his eagerness to fill his body with illegal substances.

Thursday, 17 April 2008

Sincerity is a dish best served cold...

We, Team Manchester, would like to take this opportunity to wish all teams taking part in SCC '08 the very best of luck.

Remember Team Notingham, "It's not about winning, it's about taking part", and we will be taking you apart.

Hope you all have safe journeys and get there in good time. Team Liverpool, see you on Friday.

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

A Humble Apology

"I brings a tear to my eye when i have to think about it," confesses Team Manchesters prodigy, Peter Bramwell. "As for anybody who knew me then, I was going through a difficult phase in my life. I was deperately trying to recover from a bad bout of 'fashionitis' (commonly known as 'Bad Taste') before a party i was to attend. Unfortunately for many people there, i hadn't fully recovered.

I did apologise at the time, especially to Ken Lodge who is now blind due to the event, but unfortunately words cannot heal. Unless of course you are dumb, in which case they do.

I would like to keep the past behind me and focus on the events to come. Sorry again for the hurt this has caused, i can only promise that i will check myself in the mirror before leaving the house."

A true apology from a great man, i'm sure you will all agree.

Monday, 14 April 2008

SCC Superstar or Fashion Victim?

Team Manchester support player, Peter Bramwell (or Bumwell as he has requested to be known as for the purpose of this report) has been spotted recently at a Charity bash for the lesser known charity 'Western Association for Nipple Kripple Education Reforms or W.A.N.K.E.R's for short, wearing what can only be described as an outfit from hell. When questioned about his appearance, Bumwell stated that he thought he looked good and contrary to popular belief the scarf in question definetely does go with the black coat/jumper combo. In defense of his choice of hair style, Bumwell would not / could not defend himself, it can only be assumed that he had attended a bad taste party and was running late on the day in question. This latest sighting of Bumwell comes at a bad time for Team Manchester as they have recently been installed as Betdom.com as the favourites to take home the wooden spoon in a complete turnaround of last years tournament with team Nottingham quite surprisingly been tipped as red hot favourites.

Friday, 11 April 2008

Aberdovey Embraces Technology


News has been exclusively leaked to the SCC Commitee that Aberdovey is shaking off it's, "Stuck in the 1820's" stigma by launching a live webcam to show spectators the latest weather, "as it happens".

Found at:

http://www.aberdoveybreaks.com/webcam.html

Gavin "Typically Welsh" Jones (above) commented, "We wanted to show people that we're not all about mining and growing leeks, and i think this interweb camera device is just the thing that is going to put our town on the map." And Gavin should know as he is now the proud owner of Aberdoveys' first mobile phone. "They'll be telling me next that they've found a way to keep food cold!", Gavin chuckled.

Team Manchester Warm Up


Contrary to popular belief, Team Manchester have been vigorously training hard for this years SCC tournament. "Admittedly," says Peter Bramwell, "It hasn't been the prettiest golf we have played, but it's certainly a step in right direction. That is, of course, if the right direction is a massive shank followed by a fat approach shot, then a duff chip."

Seen here in recent pictures Team Manchester have been invited to test Augusta before the professionals were allowed to play.
"I think that the fairways are quite soft and the greens very forgiving", said Neil Guyton,"But i'm sure it's not even close to the tricky conditions we are all going to be experiencing next week."

Monday, 7 April 2008

Vice Scandle Rocks Tournement

In news that has shocked the world of golf to its core, it seems that Christopher Seddon of Team Liverpool has been involved in a "same-sex" relationship with notorious porn king, Mike Ock. Pictures exclusive to this website reveal the lovers captured in bed together following what residents of the hotel claimed was an "all night steamy rompathon".



It is believed that the executive committee have scheduled an emergency meeting to discuss the matter and all members have so far been unavailable for comment.

Tuesday, 1 April 2008

The Shame Of It....

Turgid rumors are rife again as "Sharron" stepped out from the silhouette of controversy. "I know what i saw, but i was mistaken", Sharron, 35, from Dudley announces, "It appeared to be huge but actually i was much closer than i first thought. So close, in fact, i am now taking antibiotics and have a mutated strain of tonsilitis/flarangitis/larangitis (delete where applicable) which altered my perception of 'length' and indeed 'depth'. I feel deeply ashamed to have collapsed at the scene and wish that i had never been caught up in this tangled web of deceit."

On a lighter note, Peter, 25 (but looks more of a 24), was out practicing for his warm up match against team mate Neil, 34 (and feeling the years), last night and can announce that he is "Bloody awesome". Though he doesn't like to brag about it much.

Call that length!!!!!!!!!

The residents of Aberdovey have hit back today, at claims from Team Birmingham lynchpin Ben Williams that they are scared of his extra 'length'.

Following a detailed Panorama investigation, the quotes from Addfwyn were indeed traced back not to the sleepy Welsh town but to a Mrs S. Williams, rumoured to be married to said SCC participant.

An angry Mrs Williams set the record straight this afternoon saying. 'I cannot dispute that I have made several comments over the last couple of week regarding the extra length that Ben has been showing but in no circumstances did I mention his golf or intend any sexual connotation. It's his nose I'm worried about.'

Monday, 31 March 2008

Extra Length for Brummies Scares the Locals

The girls of Wales collectively went weak at the knees earlier today when it was revealed that Ben Williams will be arriving later this month with even more length than last year!

Addfwyn, 23 of Aberdovey, needed medical attention when she realised the impact of this news. We caught up with her at the back of the ambulance where she told us "This sort of thing just isn't normally heard of in these parts. Us country girls can only dream of seeing the length that Ben is rumoured to be in command of".

Sharron, 35 of Dudley who witnessed the additional length at her local driving range recently had to be carried from the scene, although it is rumoured she has seen a great deal of length and width in her time...

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

OverThe Hill?

The SCC comittee would like to wish a warm congratulations to Benjamin Williams for reaching the knee crippling age of 30. It's a testament to Nick Brooker that he plan's to stick with his aged playing partner since Ben's abilities will soon be deteriorating (further).

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to Benjamin,
and a very Happy Birthday to you Sir.

Friday, 22 February 2008

Nottingham Also Announce Sponsorship Deal ..

Team Nottingham have decided to postpone any potential sponsorship deals until 2009 despite real interest from all of the big names. Si Porter (59) commented "we decided to hold off for a year, my trusty Donnay Slammer will last another year and I entitled to OAP rates in 2009 so will take advantage of my bus pass to travel around golf outlets to hunt out the best deal available."

Team Nottingham expect to put up a stronger fight at this years tournament and Si porter has assured the other participants that he will turn up to at Aberdovey this year and that he won't expect his team mate to carry him through the entire tournament... again!

Team Manchesters New Sponsorship


The newspaper stories have been confirmed earlier today as Team Manchester announce their new sponsorship deals.

"As long as it looked good and felt good we were happy," said Peter Bramwell, "Obviously money was the riding factor, and there was plenty, but we are both happy with the decisions."

SCC Captain, Neil Guyton, 42, went for the conventional Ping G10, to no surprise of his fans. Whereas Peter Bramwell, a mere 25 and looking good for it, went for the Taylormade R7 CGB Max, because he liked the name and it was a nice red colour.

Both players are going to be testing their new drivers this weekend at the soon to be announced Ryder Cup Venue for 2015, Hale Golf Club. It will be a testament to the players if they can control these new beasts after unleashing them on this tricky 9 holer.