Tuesday 6 July 2010

Bumwell in Unsurprising Disqualification!


This weekend, Hale Municipal Golf Club was the scene of a disgraceful piece of behaviour from one its ugliest members. Pet Bumwell (pictured left celebrating his partners victory at last years SCC in a way only he can) was unceremoniously disqualified from the 9 hole pitch and putt medal that was played at HGC.
HGC released the following stateent to SCC.Blogspot.com:
"It is with a heavy heart that we, the committee at one of the best 9 hole golf courses within a 1 mile area of Hale have to confirm that Pet Bumwell has been expelled from membership for the foreseeable future from our undistinguished Golf Club. On Saturday, Bumwell was disqualified for breaking three seperate rules as set out by Roger and Alan (hereby known as R&A.) He claims that the real reason was something to do with an unplayable lie that... blah... blah... blah (who cares, and who can be bothered to listen to the claptrap that comes out of his mouth), however the actual reason is that is just a dirty great cheat who always manages to score much better than he plays especially when he has the scorecard in his hand, he is an alround arse on (and off) the golf course and lets be honest a total bottlejob when it comes to playing under pressure. We are tired of his flagrant disregard of the age old traditions of out wonderful game."
Quite surprisingly there were two members of HGC's staff that have be fighting hard for Bumwell's reinstatement. The head of catering Paul Pukka, told blogspot.com that he has seen an 80% drop in the sales of his meat pies since Bumwell's ban. The Professional also opposed to the decision as his shop had seen a dramatic decline in sales of golf balls.
Bumwell certianly needs to change his ways at Tenby this week if he is to avoid a massive beating (both in the physical and golfing sense.) As the tension rises in anticipation of this years SCC, no doubt competitors will decide to watch Team Manchester very carefully especially in the absence of his honorable gentleman Neil Gayton.
Not much more needs to be said other than a few good old fashioned cliches that team Manchester should take heed off - cheats never prosper, ou are only cheating yourself, it's not over until the fat lady (man!) sings and lastly the poignant of all... if you play golf in green shirts in Tenby on a Friday and Saturday in July you will no doubt become SCC champions.
Big love to all of the milliions of SCC fans that unfortunately will not be able to join us at Tenby this year... keep watching for updated results
Thanking you

1 comment:

massiveC said...

absolutely brilliant!!! worth the wait