BREAKING NEWS >>>>>>> BREAKING NEWS >>>>>>>>
Report by Team Manchesters' rock, Peter 'Legend' Bramwell.
I'm live here outside SCC headquarters in the beautiful City of Manchester, home to the winning team of the SCC for 4 out of the 5 past years.
We have heard this morning of the scandalous news that one of this years teams has been accused of potential match fixing. We must stress that at this moment there is no hard evidence to back up the allegations, but it is very hard to deny when you look deeper into this teams history and also their preparations for this years event.
Team Nottingham's odds on william hill, the SCC's betting agent of choice, dropped dramatically last night from 6-5 to evens on the back of speculation that they may be the first team to lose all three of their SCC matches in one tournament. Of course at first most people thought this was just the bookies playing safe, but it has come to light that this apparent poor run of form is just a myth.
Since the court approved super-injunction was lifted on Team Nottingham's stalwart Simon 'SIMON' Sporter and Team Nottinghams lesser Williams, Dom 'Huge C' Williams, SCC have been given access to Mr Sporter's and Mr William's golf lesson register. It appears that huge amounts of money have been donated from an unknown company listed at IBM. Who this company is and what they do, cannot be found, but it appears that they have the funds to pay for the £300,000 spent on lessons, Top Flite balls and Donnay Slammers. Incredibly out of the 240 hours of lessons paid for by IBM, Mr Sporter was listed as the intended recipient of 180 hours of them and only attend 20, whilst Mr Williams was awarded the remaining 60 hours but only received 20 minutes.
This is the shocking news which has rocked the golfing world, and the only question which is remaining to be answered is did they not attend the lessons to lose on purpose?! We hope to hear from this years SCC captain Nick 'Massive Baby' Brooker any time soon, and im sure that Nottingham themselves will soon release a press statement. We believe that this will be from Mr Williams, as nobody can locate Mr Sporter as it is not SCC weekend yet.
On to other matters and Team Manchester, again won the pre-SCC friendly match against Luke Donald and his chubby partner Lee Westwood 5 and 4 at Royal Hale on Thursday night. Luke was humble in his interview after the event,
"What can I say, the course was in great condition, as always, and we really struggled on the back nine. You have to be completely focused for those tricky tee positions and our minds were in another world after watching Guytons high fade, we could barely contain ourselves. But Bramwell certainly was the back bone of the team, after beating Westy on the 1st in the pie eating comp, he managed a solid round of 70 to secure a deserved win. Again we will be putting our money on team Manchester in this years SCC as they seem to be the only team with the length and the girth to take it to the final green on Saturday. Oh by the way, if you see that C Seddon, tell him that he is a spawny git and he should be definitely off 6, 7 my arse."
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