Team Birmingham Also Taking New Approach

With so many teams in this years SCC taking a new approach, Team Birmingham have also decided to come public by giving an insight into the approach that will hopefully lead to ultimate glory and see them crowned as Champion City 2011.

Drastic approaches such as Team Liverpool's Seddon actually acknowledging a handicap decrease for once, Team Nottingham's Williams deciding some months ago that a straight, longer ball was not suitable to cliff lined fairways of Nefyn GC and Team Manchesters Guyton actually retiring from all forms of golf apart from this one event, his first game of golf in nearly 2 years.

On to Birmingham's approach.....

Following a second year of disapointment, Brooker and Williams enlisted the services of some of the fittest minds at Birmingham City University (couldn't afford actual Birmigham Uni) to look into the contributing factors that have lead to the lack of success. The outcome was as follows:

1. The lack of chipping ability from a 'so-called' scratch golfer

2. Williams being such a sick note

3. Manchester being such spawny gits

4. Altitude

The first 3 are beleived to ever presents that need to accepted, and learnt to be dealt with, the fourth however was addressable (is that a word?).
The SCC is always played at sea level, where the quality of air is superb and packed full of oxygen. Team Birmingham play a majority of their golf in the highest city in the country and therefore the main reason for our lack of success is that all the oxygen at sea level goes to their heads at crucial moments.

To try and acclimatise to the conditions that will be found at this years SCC the 2 players are taking quite different approaches. Brooker is spending a large amount of time along a different stretch of the Welsh coast and is currently believed to somewhere near Haverfordwest in a shitty B&B. Williams, unable to uproot his family to the coast has decided to go against the orders of experts and further dilute the quality of his oxygen by burying his rather huge nose in some of shittiest nappies ever seen (an assumption based on the fact that a Williams is producing the shit!)

We now know the reasons why, in less than 2 weeks we will know if the approach has worked!