DNA Test Required?

As Capello struggles over his team selection for tonight's match against Algeria, another prominent story is lurking in the murky shadows.

They have never been seen in the same room, but now they are going to have to answer to the media face to face.

Are Matkinson and Capello the same person?
Is Capello one of Matkinsons love children, or are they brothers?

Questions which are hard to answer, but not hard to believe.

I for one back our SCC Captain and the utter bullshit that usually comes out of his mouth, but this time I will be listening with intent with what he has to say.

Over to you Captain.


President and Honorable Person.

SECOND CITY SCANDAL!

Team Liverpool and Birmingham members unveil shock new underhand tactics in a blatant effort to destabilise Team Manchesters better looking half:

HORROR! Coercing an innocent little girl to get her sticky chocolate fingers all over Matt Millers 6 Iron.

SHOCK! Provoke a sweet young child to swing wildly at innocent stuffed toy 'Bob the Cat'.

HAPPY ENDING! All in attendance agreed that Bethany's swing was far more likely to last under pressure than Team Nottinghams homosexual-even-though-recently-married half.

Team Manchester Reshuffle sees Bramwell out of SCC

It is rumoured that Neil "he's the daddy" Gayton is planning to replace Peter Bumwell in the Manchester pairing - with a baby!

It is understood that Neil believes that the little boy, whose name is not currently known, is likely to offer Manchester a more consistent level of performance than Bottle-It Bumwell has done at recent tournaments.

Welcome to the world little guy - hope to see you on the SCC sometime soon!

First Foreign Post

Ben "i don't always play to 8" Williams today posted the first blog in SCC history from foreign soil. And in a double swoop for the Birmingham linch-pin, he also becomes the first SCC blooger to post from outside of Europe.

Check out the neocounter - Vietnam baby!!! Phew, it's might hot out here!


Miss you long time.

Mystic Meg Predicts

Good morning sports fans.

For those who haven't been following events a new and unprecedented slot on the blog has just recently been announced this morning.

She used to be the staple part of morning television on GMTV, but now has reached the dizzying heights of SCC fame. Mystic Meg, the fortune teller and all round babe, has proudly announced that she will be joining the SCC team to not only predict future scores, but to project her photographic predictions of future events.

As a tantaliser for the supporters has been her predictions of Dominic "Shit - Who Shaved My Head" Williams upcoming stag do this weekend. She has produced a photo of what she describes will be a, "Hilarious Sunday morning sight".


Mystic Meg, we thank you and look forward to future predictions.

Pres

excerpt from next Saturday's 'Piers Morgan Life Stories: Matthew Miller'

Miller: Please Piers I’m just not able to comment in any way on the speculation as to why Sol Campbell actually left Notts County. However hard you push I simply cannot comment.

Morgan: Come on Matt admit it, was it really due to a broken heart? Did the upcoming marriage of his ‘special friend’ Dom Williams tip him over the edge?

Miller: Really Piers you have to stop looking at those websites. Can we move away from the whole area of man love, I'm just not comfortable with it. Let's get back to my upcoming debut at the renowned SCC. I’ve got some important things to say.

Morgan: Ok Matt let’s do that. Now some would say you’re at a serious disadvantage this year in replacing so skilled a golfer as Neil McGayton?

Miller: Piers there’s no denying it Neil can play golf. And swear at umpires in Hockey, he's very good at that. Frankly I’m hot and cold. Streaky if you like. Sh*t if you must. However, and let me say this clearly, I have ABSOLUTE faith that my partner this year will play out of his skin. Or at least to his handicap. Or maybe even to my handicap at a push.

Morgan: Can he be trusted? We’ve seen what can happen, I mean 27 off the tee at Pen…

Miller: let me stop you there Piers. What’s past is past. Perhaps Neil was overly indulgent before (especially so with the bed wetting incidents), however I know Pete has matured into a sensible, grounded human being. I mean he’s now in charge of organizing my stag do! So yes let’s talk about trust shall we. On the golf course I trust Peter implicitly. And vice versa. He knows I'll always have some beers in my bag.

Morgan: Now these allegations of an incident in Portugal, in which a Team Birmingham competitor was injured…

Miller: I have no idea how these things follow me around, scurrilous clap trap. Yes I was playing at Pestana with my Team Manchester team mate and Ben. And yes Ben stumbled and fell, injuring his ankle. I’ll admit Pete was waaaaaay off left looking for a ball he had hooked the hell out of , as impossible as that sounds. Yes I was the nearest person to Ben. But let me categorically say again I DID NOT PUSH HIM OVER. It was an accident and the poor little soldier seemed to shake it off to have some fun on the water slides a few days later.

Morgan: Ok so we’re going to wrap up here, anything else you’d like to add?

Miller: Absolutely Piers. Team Manchester may be much changed this year but one thing that hasn’t altered is our UTTER conviction that we fight on and we fight to win. And we drink on and we drink to win as well I'd like to add.

Actual, genuine, real interest in the SCC!

In a first for this site, "Pembs Listings", a real life, totally not made up by any of the usual bloggers organisation have become followers of the SCC blog spot!

Welcome to the world of the SCC Pembs Listings. The group, who list themselves as "Promoting Pembrookshire its services,, businesses, places of interest, attractions, events and much more" are welcome to contribute to the blog and enjoy the fun it brings.

This recognition by the real world has sparked a frenzy of activity in news rooms across the world as interest from a non-fictional body puts the SCC on the brink of the big time.

Former captain and Team Birmingham rock Ben Williams, has reassured local press by stating that the competition would remain true to it's roots. In a swipe at some of his competitors, Williams added that Team Birmingham would most certainly not be selling their souls to the corporate machine by signing up to any team sponsorship.

"Nick and I compete in the the SCC for the love of the game and the opportunity to share a bed, preferably with a soft floral duvet. Making money off of the success of the competition has never been something that has interested Team Birmingham. The work we do for charity and the donations we make from our SCC revenue often gets overlooked".

The pair do vast amounts of work with the underprivelaged in their city, mainly employing them on half the mininum wage working on their often flamboyant golfing attire in the back street sweat shops of Dudley.

Live Sponsorship Breaking News ...... Breaking News ...........

After Dominic "Hey Fella, Wanna Have Some Fun?" Williams's exciting press release yesterday, it seems that the rest of the SCC Teams have battled to steal the limelight from Team Nottingham.

It was only a matter of hours until Team Birmingham held a press conference to discuss their sponsors of this years competition. Held in the flouse of one of the teams entrants Nick "I'm The Gay One" Brooker, came waddling up to the mic to announce their deals....

"Hello ladies and espcially the gentlemen, as you all know I have being struggling with a recent bout of AIDs, but thankfully that is now calming down and I can continue with my extra-curricular activities (wink's at Simon Thompson from the Daily Mail in the front row).

It is with great pleasure that I can confirm Mothercare are to be our leading sponsors as Dom so kindly announced for us, but I can also say that another leading brand will also be supporting us to attain a Number Three spot this year.

Trojan Extra Small Condoms - "For When The Man In You, Wants A Man In You", are proud to be supporting Team Bumingham and we are proud to have them right behind us (a wry smile crosses Nick's Face)."

Ben "I'm nearly forty you know" Williams, was also quick to backup the partner who has carried him for the past 4 years. "A lot of people thought that it would be tough for us to gain sponsorship after last years embarrassing performance, and to be fair, who would blame them? I can only say that this year I will be relying on my partner again, and I know better than anyone that Nick likes nothing better that for a man to be right by his side."


In other news, Team Manchester, will be shortly announcing their sponsors for this year. With their impressive haul of wins it will be no surprise to see Callaway and Nike once again extend their contracts, but with the shameful Matt "I am actually forty Ben" Miller joining the team, who knows what could happen.

Watch this space

Team Nottingham Reveal Huge Sponsorship Deals!

Not wanting to be outdone by Chris 'my team are going down this year' Seddon and his recent announcement about sponsorship, Dom Williams (the playing member of Team Nottingham) released the following Press release:

"It is with great pleasure that Team Nottingham are able to reveal that they now have three seperate commercial contracts with big corporate giants as they attempt to avoid the wooden spoon for the third time in four years.

We have agreed a two year deal with Tampax who will not only provide a financial contribution to training fees but have also agreed to provide us with unlimited tampons over the next two years for us to give to Pete when he blobs a hole. Steve Cotton (CEO of Tampax) said " we all know how bad Bumwell is at golf and what an all round terrible bloke he is, and having followed SCC closely over the last four years we are aware of his extremely poor record against team Nottingham, therefore we will need to increase our productivity at all of our local plants to meet the obvious need for our product at Tenby."

Mothercare have also come on board as our official supplier of baby products. Pi Sorter explained that "Mothercare noticed an opportunity to exploit the market by plugging their latest range of dummies and toys at this years tournament, apparently Nick Brooker hasn't been playing much golf recently so we are expecting several pulled drives, shanks and duffed chips from him, when added to the odd snide comment from Team Nottingham's usually tight lipped, liberal, pin up, Dom Williams, we expect there to be numerous occasions whereby toys / dummies are thrown out of the pram so we contacted Mothercare who were more than happy to supply Mr Brooker with enough apparel to satisfy his temper tantrums."

Apple are the third big name to jump on board Team Nottingham's apparent commercial rollercoaster. Dom Williams was on hand to explain the benefits of this deal, "last years fixture against Liverpool whilst very enjoyable was also somewhat painful. The main problem was that we had to put up with Seddon's incessant bulls**t, therefore we wanted something to drown out his Northern dulcid tone, therefore we approached Apple via Pi Sorter's IBM connections and they agreed to supply a brace of Ipod Nano's and unlimited access to their itunes collection. We will no doubt feel the benefit even as early on as the first fairway."

The official press release did not reveal that Team Nottingham have also secured a "naming rights sponsor", un-named sources have revealed to Blogspot.com that a deal is all but agreed with Poundland. The details of the deal are a little sketchy, but it would appear the collaboration will result in "Nottingham Poundland" becoming the official name of Team Nottingham for 2010. It is thought that Nottingham's cheap image is the main reason that the affordable retail outlet have joined forces with them as their is a strong synergy between their two products.

No doubt the other teams will scrambling around to find themselves new and exciting sponsorship deals, be sure to revisit this site for all the gossip.

P.S. Matt Miller is a homo!

Seddon Thanks Sponsors

With just 120 days to go, the golfing calendar is looking forward to the biggest weekend of the year. This has not evaded the biggest names in golf and two major players have signed up to back the likely favourites in 2010....Team Liverpool. The improving partnership are set to take Tenby by storm this summer after narrowly loosing out to team Manchester in what can only have been a drug inhibited final round! A security breach in Pennards locker room recorded "Theres no way Gayton can putt and chip so well and Bumwell needing to play off the ladies tees to compete with his 9 hole handicap, without some drug abuse somewhere in the round" could be heard from Mr Captain Elect fuming at the urinal pre- awards presentation.
Mizuno and Titleist have stepped forward to support Seddon's golfing exploits this week. After kitting out Chris (how does a category 2 golfer strike a ball so well) Seddon with some new Irons, wedges and a bag. After a 7 day meeting/negotiation a 3 year deal was struck.
Seddon has decided to extend his charity work further this year and is auctioning off his old weapons of mass destruction to "club" together a few lessons for Pi Sorter and psychological assessments for Bumwell as Seddon's stomach cant take laughing as hard again this year at the none starters, and wishes to take the competition very seriously this year!
Seddon was quoted " With the unbelievable talent on show I'm sure we will see all the top brands interested in our players this year".....as a scuffle erupts in the background, a question is thrown towards Team Liverpool's younger half..."Mr Seddon, Mr Seddon...Gordon Slice here, CEO of Molitor Golf, have you got Team Nottingham's contact details"......Seds: "I'm afraid I dont. If you want any details of meet ups with Nottingham Team, you must RSVP to a date you have no idea when it occurs, ideal that, its just the way they organise things!"

Shortly after, Seddon headed for a blacked out limo, straight to Heathrow for a week in Gran Canaria to acclimatises himself with his new products...watch this space!

2010 - The Year to Define all Years

The tension - unbearable
The excitement - oozing

He stretches, practices, tee's up ..... BOOM.


Royal St Hale erupted yesterday when President Peter 'Lock Away Your Daughters' Bumwell stepped up to start off his golfing campaign of 2010. Spectators, could be heard screaming "He's much more attractive in the flesh!" and "My God, Look at the length of that!", as Bumwell tore up the difficult double 9 course.

We briefly caught up with Sir Bumwell at the end of his astonishing round and he had this to say...

"Well, what can I say, this course just keeps surprising me each year. It really is a testament to the greenstaff to make this course a very very different round from the first nine to the remaining 9 holes.
As much as anybody may say it's only a 9 holer, I say well, what happen's when you multiply 9 by 2?

No?

Well I'll help you .... 18 ..... that's correct.

I won't be the first to say it, though many have said it before me, I play my golf like I live my life ... fast, hard and god damn sexy."

At this point a rather big nosed muffle came from the crowd,"Mr Bumwell .. Sir, may I ask how you seemingly thrash the course into a pathetic whimpering wreck when you practice, yet when you actually come to play in a competition you somewhat bottle it?"

"Sorry, is that Ben 'My ears are also rather large' Williams? Well, it's actually rather embarrassing for me, I know I play like a legend, but I don't want to make those I play with fell inadequate, they try so hard all year, and I mean playing with me is experience enough, I just want to make them feel better. I do it for my fans, not me."



Astonishing words from a true gentleman of the game.

Mr Brooker - Set To Break Silence at 14.00GMT 19/2/10

As you have probably heard by now, there has been some controversy in the media over Mr N 'I Like A Bit Of Rough' Brooker's recent debauchery claims. It is believed that many men have come forward to confess that they have had a bit of bum-fun with Mr Brooker over the past few years. These events seem to have happened when Mr Brooker was supposedly playing in golf competitions, but it looks like he was putting his balls in completely different holes to those on the golf course.

One gentleman, who wishes to remain nameless (picture below), is quoted as saying, "I was so confused, one minute he was talking about his incredible length on the golf course, the next I was biting down on some quality goose down pillows."


This news has come at a very difficult time for Brooker, as he has managed to secure himself an actual real 'girlfriend'. This claim is yet to be verified, and approved by the SCC board, but I can honestly say that she definitely must have a screw loose somewhere.

So we wait to see what he has to say at the press conference, and rest assured that SCC Blog will keep you fully updated on this breaking story.

President "Whoa, look at the size of that" Bumwell

SCC venue confirmed - 9/10 July 2010

Absolutely exclusive to secondcitychallenge.blogspot.com!

The blog announcement we've all been waiting for!

Amidst raucous scenes at UKPGA Headquarters this morning, we caught up briefly with 2010 Captain, Matkinson, to ask him a few questions as to this year's venue.

We also caught up with a long-standing SCC fan (shown above, posing by links-type scenery).

Reporter: "Are you pleased Mr Captain that the deal is now in the bag."

El Capitan: "Yes thanks, ecstatic. They never thought I had it in me those boys. They thought my secretary was doing it all. Well...I'll show them. I've actually gone and booked a golf course!!"

Reporter: "Well done. It's a good one too, if I may say so. One of Wales' premier links tracks."

El Capitan: "Yes, well, I did think about something different this year. Something easier, basically, with less sand and rough. But we're coming back for more punishment! Links golf's where it's at, I'd say."

Reporter: "Quite. And of course, we'll be surrounded by an area of oustanding natural beauty. It's nice to see there were no backhanders involved again this year."

El Capitan: "What?!... Who mentioned backhanders?... I didn't mention them. Obviously there will be sponsorship contracts won and lost on the back of this decision, but I only have the interests of the game at heart, you understand that?..."

... Matkinson was at this stage thrust into a blacked-out Range Rover by two members of his security entourage, and driven away at speed.

One fan had this to say on this year's venue: "Nice. I loves the Pamela Andersons. "

But at least, here at SCCblogspot.com, we can rest assured that another mouthwatering tournament is in prospect. When the players tee off on the morning of Friday 9 July 2010, looking out over Carmarthen Bay, we'll be with them every step, top, slice and duff of the way. Follow all the action here, at secondcitychallenge.blogspot.com.....

What's all the fuss about? It's only a baby...

Team Birmingham have reacted with surprise to the news that Neil "The Duck" Gayton has withdrawn fro SCC2010 due the imminent arrival of a little baby.

It is a well known fact that Nick "The Daddy" Brooker gave birth on a golf course in 2004 whist expanding the Birmingham brand overseas. The fact that he continued the round and carded a respectable +2 has made him something of a cult hero on the island ever since.

TBC - C'ed

SCC followers awoke this morning to the news they had all been waiting to hear, Matthew Miller, 72, has confirmed that Miss E Guyton, 27, will let him play in SCC 2010.

"I'm not happy about it," said Neil and Emily in unison, "I'm not happy about it at all. This sort of thing will not be tolerated once we are wed, hang on .... (shouting upstairs) ... Matthew, have you cleaned behind your ears yet? Put some f***ing clothes on, you f***ing layabout .... Sorry, where was I? Yes, I'm not happy with this, I'm even thinking of coming along just to keep my eyes on him. I've heard about Peter's length and I'm very worried."

Neil was also visually distressed and commented, "No comment."

So, it is with great pleasure that I now can announce my newest member to Team Manchester for 2010, Mr Matthew "In The Hole" Miller.

Mr Pres

Breaking News... Neil Pulls Out After Finding Penis

As most of you may be aware, Team Manchester has been halved from two great golfers, to just one and a half great golfers. The aforementioned half, Mr Neil 'Yes It Works' Guyton, has been getting his end away and managed to produce a sprog. Not even cries from Massive C Seddon of, "Stop Nobbin' Around", could not prevent this from happening.

So it brings me with great pleasure to welcome Mr Matthew Miller (65), to the SCC for 2010 (Still TBC). I'm sure that we will welcome Matthew with open arms and erect penis's into the SCC fold.

Matthew, born 7th January 1935, was delighted when he heard the news. "I just can't believe it," said the radpidly aging southerner, "I have to keep pinching my nipples, just to make sure it's not a dream. I never knew that dropping out of Manchester Polytechnic in 1992 would ever come around to this. I know that I have a small role to play, as Neil was just the supporting act, and even though I will try my best, it will be hard to over-shadow the presence that is Mr Peter 'Length' Bramwell."

Wise words, by an less than average golfer, I'm sure you'll agree.


Mr President

Team Liverpool Rule Themselves out of SCC 2010 Race

Team Liverpool pairing, Captain Mattkinson and Christopher Seddon were recently quizzed about their chances at SCC 2010. The pair were quick to write off their chances and when asked if they would pose for SCC Blogspot.com, they adopted a stance highlighting both their golfing prowess and their general likeability factor. Mattkinson stated "Team Liverpool are talked about every year as having an outside chance of finishing within the top 3, however Chris and I are more realistic than that. We know that we are both Losers (as highlighted in the attached image) and that our golfing talent is less than substandard, however we do enjoy taking part in the tournament as we get to spend time with the likes of 'Long shlong' Dom Williams, Neil 'high fade' Gayton and Nick 'I have found my penis' Brooker which in itself is a huge honour.

Pet Bumwell of a posh area outside of Manchester had a different take on the reported photograph. Bumwell went on record stating that the scouse pairing were actually demonstrating that they are actually as dim as they look and conforming to the stereotype that all scousers (even fake ones) are stupid. It is Bumwell's opinion that the pairing were actually describing themselves as a brace of massive C's, but they unfortunately spelled out L's for losers which Bumwell was quick to highlight is also actually the case!

2010 should prove to be another competitive year within the greatest golfing tournament the planet has ever seen, it is fair to say that anyone of the four teams could win it, however the likely outcome is that one of the sides from the East Midlands will probably be victorious for the first time!

Scandle in the highest form...

Dear Members of the Honourable SCC,

It is with great sadness is that I bring you this news. It has been tearing me apart inside but I cannot play down the rumours any longer.

You may have heard in the news and the media that photographs of "inter-team-inter-course" have been taken. I feel that is my duty that I let you know and see them before general release to the public (see below).

Mr Willams and Mr Matkinson, my apologies.

I know that if we really try, we can all get through this together.

Your Friend

Mr President

Rush on for "Blue" Gold

Team Birmingham replica shirts have been in high demand since Ben and Nick launched their official merchandising range shortly before SCC2008. However, in the lead up to Christmas, demand is fast outstripping supply and shop shelves are being cleared within minutes of a new shipment arriving.

Usually retailing at £68.68, a price that coincidentally reflects the pairings anticipated first day scores at SCC2010, the shirts are increasingly being sold illegally. It is understood that black market prices have already broken the £200 mark and with Christmas just around the corner, last years most popular present is expected to sell for much more yet.

There was concern that shirt sales may be impacted upon by the recent revelation that Nick is now in a relationship - with a girl. His gay/not gay reputation had made the Brummie twosome a firm favourite with the woofters. However, these fears seem to have been unfounded and shirt sales continue to out perform any other sporting merchandise currently on the market.

Such is the popularity of the Boys in Blue that Global Wines in Smethwick was recently forced to close when a Birmingham based fan falsely reported on the internet that Ben and Nick were due to be holding an impromptu shirt signing session there. It is believed that the pair are actually planning to appear in Nelams Kebab and Pizza shop at some point over the festive period.

Incoming captain called into question, says Daily Telegraph…

The following transcript has been obtained of a press conference given by the incoming SCC Captain on Sunday morning, 28 June 2009, at the clubhouse, Pennard GC.

It is reproduced here verbatim, without permission, and in association with Golf on Gower FM:

SCC Press Officer, Ms. E. Macpherson: Thanks for coming gentlemen, now if you’ll just be seated...

Mat Kinson (cuts across her): Which one of you is Derek Lawrenson?

Lawrenson (Golf correspondent, Daily Mail): Me...

Mat Kinson: You're a massive C.

Lawrenson: Thanks very much.

Mat Kinson: Which one of you is from the Telegraph?

Mark Reason: Me.

Mat Kinson: You're out of order, you are. F**king out of order. You don't know what you're doing. What's this about Chris Seddon carrying Team Liverpool through 36 holes of golf on Friday? (Slams copy of the Telegraph on the table.)

Reason: Well, free comment...

Mat Kinson: It's bang out of order. I had very bad hay-fever. I'll not have you near this tournament next year, you hear that? And you, from the Mail. I did not “jam my way into contention again, only to choke on the final nine”. You got that?

Lawrenson: We're just reporting on the weekend Mat Kinson, the popular demand for coverage of this event is sky high. We double our circulation at the Mail every time the SCC comes around.

Mat Kinson: Who are you calling Mat Kinson?

SCC Press Officer Macpherson: The incoming captain would like to be referred to as "Mr Captain".

Lawrenson: Mr Captain.

Mr Captain: Quite right.

John Hopkins: Er…John Hopkins here, Golf correspondent, The Times. Mr. Captain, how do you think you played out there today?

Mr Captain: That's a golf question. I'm not here to answer golf questions.

Hopkins: Right, no, of course not. Well, what are your plans for next year?

Mr Captain: I want to win.

Hopkins: Yes, thanks. But I was thinking more on the lines of what do you plan for the event, the venue, we heard St Andrews was in the running to host the SCC 2010?

Mr Captain to Macpherson: What’s he talking about? And why is he snivelling?

Hopkins: I have hay-fever.

Mr Captain: Pathetic.

SCC Press Officer Macpherson: He’d like to know whether you plan to host the event somewhere special for the 5th Anniversary SCC.

Mr Captain: These things sort themselves out in my experience. Next question.

Lawrenson: Did you congratulate Pete Bramwell on his tournament winning 17th hole yesterday?

Mr Captain: That’s another golf question. Next.

Reason: Do you have a word for the fans who turned up today? They’ll be interested to see if you develop a rapport as your predecessor did. Ben also, might I add, always had a word for the press.

Mr Captain: You dicks were watching the Lions, weren’t you? There were a couple of female fans on the 18th, but they seemed to be looking out for Nick Brooker. Next.

Hopkins: Are you in a bad mood because you only finished third this year?

Mr Captain: Were you watching the Lions?

Hopkins: Well…most of us were, yes.

Mr Captain: Timewasters, the lot of you. First and fourth – that’s all that matters, ok? The middle placings are a lottery.

(At this stage a member of the public, sporting a Team Nottingham polo shirt and looking much like Team Nottingham member Dom Williams, was escorted from the building, yelling “Massive C you are… Massive C… Fourth is the new first… Fourth is the new first…”)

Lawrenson: Do you have a word or two for the staff of Pennard GC?

Mr Captain: Didn’t like the rough. Next.

Hopkins: In all seriousness though, it’s a beautiful course isn’t it?

Mr Captain: Neil Guyton seemed to like it, yes.

(At this stage the press conference was interrupted by the shattering of a clubhouse window, followed by the slamming of a club, followed by an exasperated “Simon”.)

Hopkins: Mr Captain, one last question. What do you think of the FWAG's decision to set up their own blog?

Mr Captain: Sloshpots, the lot of them... I’ve had enough.

(Storms off in the direction of the driving range for another 25 balls…)

For the inspiration for this blog, see: http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/oct/03/newcastleunited.premierleague